In September 2020, amidst the ongoing chaos of the COVID-19 pandemic, Sarah found herself waiting at an almost deserted Heathrow Airport, feeling a bit eccentric for flying to the U.S. But she quickly reminded herself of the reason for her trip: she was heading to a fertility clinic in Rockville, MD, to finally undergo an embryo transfer that had been years in the making. Sarah had never experienced the intense desire for motherhood that many women describe. It wasn’t that she didn’t want children; she just thought she’d consider it when the timing felt right or when she met the right partner. Unfortunately, the ticking biological clock doesn’t wait for anyone.
When Sarah eventually met James and decided it was time to start a family, she discovered that her age posed significant challenges to conceiving naturally. They began IVF treatments in 2017. Even though Sarah was in her 40s, they remained optimistic, having seen many women in similar situations succeed through IVF. However, the reality of fertility treatments often felt like a rollercoaster—three steps forward, two steps back. After years of ups and downs, multiple cycles at various clinics, their doctor delivered the harsh reality: at 44, Sarah had less than a 3% chance of conceiving with her own eggs. “I never thought this would be my story,” Sarah admitted. “I could have kept trying. I don’t like to lose.”
Choosing to use a donor egg was a tough decision for Sarah. She felt a sense of grief, mourning the loss of her genetic contribution, and feared that she wouldn’t bond with a child who wasn’t biologically hers. However, those concerns began to fade after meeting Dr. Anderson at the clinic. Since the U.K. prohibits compensation for egg donation, many couples like Sarah and James look to other countries for help. After researching clinics in Greece, Spain, and Turkey, they were drawn to the one in Maryland due to its high success rates and robust support for international patients. “Dr. Anderson genuinely connected with us,” Sarah recalled. His confidence was contagious; he reassured her that many of her fears would dissipate once she held her baby.
While scrolling through donor profiles for the first time, Sarah was overwhelmed and shut her laptop before really diving in. It took her two months to revisit the profiles. Despite being decisive in other areas of her life, selecting a donor felt monumental. When they finally made a choice, Sarah insisted James press the button to confirm their selection, but first, they decided to sleep on it. Unfortunately, they later learned that their first choices had already been selected by other couples. This led to frustration, but Sarah soon became systematic in her search.
One evening, while riding in a taxi, she stumbled upon a profile that felt right. “I can’t wait to show you this profile,” she texted James, urging him to act quickly. This time, she pressed the button herself, taking a leap of faith.
“I’m proud of our donor,” Sarah said. “I can’t wait to tell our child about her.”
Just as they felt ready to move forward, the pandemic brought their plans to a halt. Thankfully, after a six-week pause, the clinic resumed embryo transfers. By late summer, as COVID-19 cases began to decline, Sarah boarded a plane to Maryland. Upon arrival, she found the clinic quieter than she had remembered. Despite the pandemic’s shadow, the embryo transfer went smoothly, and she returned to the U.K. to quarantine with James. He took care of her, but the thought of taking a pregnancy test filled her with dread. However, as their quarantine neared its end, she decided the uncertainty was harder to bear than facing possible disappointment. To her surprise and joy, the test came back positive.
As of November 2020, Sarah is nine weeks pregnant. Though it’s still early, she feels hopeful about the journey ahead. After a challenging path through infertility, she and James are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel, brighter than ever, thanks to the support they received.
If you’re interested in learning more about fertility options, consider checking out this resource on what to expect during your first IUI, or explore how doulas empower Black mothers for better experiences. For those considering home insemination, you may want to look into this Cryobaby home insemination kit as a trusted option.
In summary, Sarah and James navigated the challenges of infertility during the pandemic, ultimately deciding to use a donor egg to pursue their dream of parenthood. Their journey underscores the importance of support and resilience in the face of obstacles.