Starting a family is a deeply personal journey, and for many gay couples, it involves navigating the world of fertility clinics. This process can feel a bit daunting, but it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. Many same-sex couples face unique challenges when it comes to parenthood, including the need for a gestational carrier or an egg donor.
So where do you even begin? In this guide, we’ll walk you through the essentials of the IVF process for gay male couples, including what to expect and key considerations along the way.
Family Building for Gay Men
When gay male couples decide to start their families, they typically need two key components:
- An egg donor
- A surrogate (often referred to as a gestational carrier)
The process kicks off at a fertility clinic, where embryos are created using sperm from one or both partners and eggs from the chosen donor. After the embryos are formed, one will be implanted into the gestational carrier, who will carry the pregnancy to term.
Finding the right egg donor is a significant step and can take time. It’s essential to choose a donor who has undergone thorough medical screening, and agencies like Hatch Fertility can help streamline this process by offering access to top candidates. Here are some factors to keep in mind while searching for an egg donor:
- Medical and mental health history
- Physical attributes
- Educational background
- Personality traits
Our tip? Stay flexible! Create a list of your ideal criteria but remain open-minded. Remember, each donor is unique, and finding the perfect match might take some time.
General Timeline for Using an Egg Donor
On average, it can take about 3-6 months from selecting an egg donor to embryo creation. Once matched, the egg donor will undergo a medical screening with the IVF specialist. If you’re working with an agency like Hatch, they’ll also help connect you with a legal expert to draft necessary contracts, which could take anywhere from a few weeks to several months.
Once treatment begins, the egg donor typically undergoes ovarian stimulation for about two weeks before the egg retrieval. The embryos will be fertilized with the intended parents’ sperm on the day of retrieval.
PGS Testing: A Smart Step
Preimplantation Genetic Screening (PGS) testing is an important medical step that ensures the embryos being used are healthy. This test evaluates genetic normalcy and can even determine the sex of the embryos, which is helpful for parents who have a particular preference. It’s a smart move that can help avoid potential disappointments later on.
Finding a Surrogate
Gestational surrogacy is a fantastic option for LGBTQIA+ individuals and couples looking to welcome a child into their lives. However, it’s crucial to understand the legal and medical aspects involved, along with the emotional support needed throughout this journey. Finding the right surrogate can be a lengthy process, so it’s wise to start looking early—perhaps even while searching for an egg donor.
In the U.S., surrogacy laws vary by state, so it’s essential to be informed about the legal landscape. Here are some criteria to consider when matching with a gestational carrier:
- Age and health history
- Previous pregnancy experiences
- Geographic location
- Communication preferences during the journey
Once matched, the surrogate will also go through a medical screening at the IVF clinic, which typically includes various health assessments. A legal contract is necessary before planning any embryo transfer, so consulting a lawyer who specializes in surrogacy for same-sex couples is a must.
The Right Doctor Makes a Difference
Finding a doctor who prioritizes your needs and has a good track record can help ease the challenges of the IVF process. Look for someone who stays updated on the latest advancements in IVF technology.
If you’re ready to embark on your family-building journey, reach out to PFCLA for support! And if you’re interested in personal stories, check out this one from another blog post, where a family shares their success after years of unexplained infertility.
Summary
Starting a family as a gay couple through IVF can be complex but incredibly rewarding. By understanding the steps involved—such as finding an egg donor and surrogate, navigating legal requirements, and partnering with the right medical professionals—you can make the process smoother. Remember, you’re not alone on this journey, and there are plenty of resources available to help you every step of the way.