For Mark and Lisa, the legalization of same-sex marriage opened up a world of possibilities, including the dream of starting a family.
Mark shares their story: “I never really thought I’d have my own family. It wasn’t that I didn’t want one; I just didn’t believe it was in the cards for me. My partner, Lisa, who I met in 2015 through a local community group, felt the same way.”
When same-sex marriage became legal in 2014, it felt like a monumental change. Even though we weren’t ready to tie the knot at the time, it was liberating to know we had rights, and that made the idea of having a family feel attainable.
Initially, we considered adoption because we weren’t very familiar with IVF. However, after hearing about a friend’s successful IVF journey with a clinic in Oxford, we decided to explore that option.
In 2020, we attended an open evening at the Oxford Fertility clinic. It was incredibly informative, especially for two people totally new to the IVF process. The team broke everything down in simple terms and provided us with helpful information packs. Afterward, we opted to switch to the Thames Valley clinic, which was closer to home.
Following some initial tests, we decided that I would be the first to undergo IVF. Although I was younger, I had a lower egg reserve. We aimed to start our first cycle in February 2020, but when we asked about potential COVID-19 impacts, we were optimistic that it wouldn’t affect us—then everything suddenly shut down.
Waiting was tough. Time felt like it was working against us as we knew our eggs were aging. During this period, I even wrote an academic paper about how others in similar situations coped with the uncertainty of halted fertility treatments. Fortunately, the clinic reopened in June 2020, and we were back on track.
We chose a Danish sperm bank for its extensive donor information, which was important to us. We wanted our future child to have access to the donor’s medical and family history, as well as personal insights from him, which made us feel more at ease.
Our first IVF cycle was challenging. We managed to retrieve twelve eggs, but only one embryo made it through. Unfortunately, that pregnancy ended in an early miscarriage. The next two rounds with ICSI were similarly disappointing, resulting in more miscarriages. Further testing revealed I was a carrier of an MTHFR gene mutation, which can affect how the body absorbs folic acid, so the clinic adjusted my medication accordingly.
By the fourth attempt, we were feeling hopeless—it felt like our last chance. The embryologist suggested transferring two embryos, and she was incredibly supportive, saying she didn’t want to see us back for a while.
To our surprise, I became pregnant with twins! We were ecstatic when we saw two heartbeats at our seven-week scan. However, at eight weeks, I experienced bleeding and feared the worst. We rushed to A&E, where we sadly lost one twin but were overjoyed to find out that the other was still strong.
The early months of pregnancy were tough; I dealt with severe nausea and swelling. The birth was induced at 41 weeks and 3 days, resulting in an emergency C-section. Our daughter, Sophie, was a healthy 10lb 6oz.
Life has been a whirlwind since Sophie arrived. Adjusting to parenthood while recovering from surgery has been a challenge, but we feel incredibly grateful. We look forward to watching her grow, and we hope she’ll be bilingual, just like Lisa. She’s set to meet her French family for the first time soon!
If you’re considering starting your own family, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination. For those looking to explore more about fertility treatments, you might find this blog post on the best magnet toys that spark creativity and engineering skills quite interesting too.
In summary, Mark and Lisa’s journey illustrates the determination and hope that can come with the challenges of starting a family through IVF, showcasing the importance of support and information along the way.