Sophie (39) and Liam Carter (40) from Penn, near High Wycombe, turned down a complimentary round of IVF through the NHS because they felt it wasn’t the right moment for them as a couple. Sophie, a coach and alternative therapist, and Liam, a contract manager, discovered Thames Valley Fertility (part of The Fertility Partnership) after making some significant lifestyle changes and seeking counseling. Their first round of IVF turned out to be successful, leading to the joyful arrival of their son, Max.
Sophie shared, “In 2015, after three years of trying to conceive with no success, we sought fertility advice to see if there was anything we needed to be aware of. The doctors expedited all the tests since my 35th birthday was approaching, meaning I would soon be ineligible for NHS-funded fertility treatment. They classified us as having unexplained fertility, meaning there was no known reason we couldn’t conceive naturally.”
“After our first appointment at the fertility clinic, we looked at each other in the car and realized we weren’t sure if our relationship was strong enough to handle IVF. Over the past three years, we had drifted apart.”
“We felt it was essential to work on our relationship to prepare for the emotional journey ahead. We wanted to reconnect.”
They engaged in couples counseling to improve their communication, embraced their differences, and celebrated the things that brought them together. They adopted a dog and spent more time outdoors, making changes that would help them become the best parents possible. They also reflected on how they wanted to create a nurturing space for a child.
“As much as we wanted our relationship to be solid for the fertility journey, I knew I needed to be in the right state of mind too. Instead of resisting the path I was on, I opened myself to it, allowing it to transform me. I began paying attention to my body, making dietary and lifestyle changes, and exploring alternative therapies that helped shift my mindset, build emotional resilience, and let go of past issues affecting my ability to conceive. I also discovered a creative side I didn’t know existed, which led to an unexpected career change.”
“I spent a year and a half in counseling just to say yes to IVF. It took me some time to fully embrace the idea. I understood the importance of being all in.”
Once they felt ready to begin IVF, they explored private clinics and realized how crucial it was to select the right one for them. Sophie recounted, “In 2017, we visited a clinic for an initial consultation but didn’t have a great experience. I almost ignored my instincts that the way we were treated wasn’t right. Having just come around to the IVF idea, I worried I would back out if I didn’t keep moving forward. But while driving home, Liam held my hand and insisted that if we were going to let anyone into this intimate part of our lives, they needed to treat me with care.”
“We set clear criteria for the clinic—we wanted it to feel right, we needed to trust the consultants’ expertise and compassion, and I wanted a place where I could integrate my alternative therapies into the process.”
“Attending an open evening at Thames Valley Fertility when it first opened, we felt the warmth of the staff and the empathy of the consultants.”
Thames Valley Fertility decided to treat Sophie and Liam using ICSI, which involves injecting a single sperm into each egg. Sophie shared, “We were really lucky with our first round of ICSI, with eight embryos reaching the blastocyst stage and seven more frozen. We opted for an extra treatment that provided hourly images of the embryos’ development without disturbing them.”
“The embryologist noted that one embryo was developing exceptionally well. By the time of the transfer, it had already hatched, indicating it was ready to implant. Any doubts we had about which embryo to choose disappeared; it was obvious this was the one.”
Despite the clinic caring for the embryos, Sophie wanted to ensure her personal wishes were respected. “During the stimulation phase, I used many of the tools I’d learned to support myself emotionally. My body responded well to the medication for egg retrieval. After the procedure, still under sedation, I asked the embryologist if she ever spoke to the embryos. She hadn’t, but I could! I requested her to speak kindly to them, and I felt reassured knowing they were in such good hands.”
“I cannot express the emotions we felt when we received the positive pregnancy test. It was wonderful to call Thames Valley Fertility to share the news; everyone there was so invested in our success.”
Sophie advised anyone considering IVF at Thames Valley Fertility to “trust your journey, allow it to change you, and be open to support. IVF can feel isolating and challenge your feelings of femininity. Find ways to care for yourself and embrace the vulnerability of the process. I always emphasize the importance of honesty so others don’t feel alone.”
While she has recommended the clinic to several people, Sophie noted, “Focus on what you need as an individual. Make the journey your own. I asked for what I needed. The first consultant we met, I asked about his story and why he chose this field; he was happy to share.”
“I also brought personal items to the clinic and blessed the space with positive intentions. After each appointment, Liam and I went on a date to make it special rather than just another process. It’s a personal journey to bring a child into the world. Especially during COVID-19, when partner attendance at appointments was restricted, find ways to involve them—send a photo or a voice note.”
Sophie and Liam welcomed Max two weeks early on April 14, 2019. “Max is so vibrant and cheerful. He’s obsessed with cars like his dad; one of his first words was ‘car key!’ He loves food and has a big appetite. He’s wild yet sensitive and loves to hug trees.”
In conclusion, Sophie reflected, “The fertility journey brought us closer together. It wasn’t what we expected when we started trying to conceive, but I believe it was the perfect path for us. The journey for men and women is different, but it laid a solid foundation for parenthood.”
If you’re interested in further exploring your options, check out this blog post on how to hire a nanny for your growing family. You can also visit this great resource on treating infertility.
Summary:
Sophie and Liam’s journey through fertility treatment at Thames Valley Fertility showcases the importance of emotional readiness and relationship strength. After overcoming challenges and embracing their unique paths, they successfully welcomed their son, Max, into the world. Their story emphasizes the need for open communication, self-care, and the right support throughout the IVF process.