After experiencing three unsuccessful IVF cycles, my partner, whom I’ll refer to as “Alex,” and I made the decision to pursue egg donation. Surprisingly, this choice eased the frantic energy we had been pouring into our “baby project.” As I went from 38 to 41, grappling with limited success—including one early miscarriage—I felt the pressure of my biological clock. However, using a donor brought me a sense of relief; as long as we selected a younger egg donor, my age felt less significant.
We started exploring various donor databases but didn’t feel a strong connection with anyone. It wasn’t that we had a perfect donor profile in mind, but no one felt right. So, I decided to pause our search, thinking we’d revisit it in the fall. This past July, with little expectation, I casually scheduled a second appointment to browse through profiles at our fertility center. I was prepared to leave empty-handed, but then one particular donor’s profile caught my eye. Her photos radiated joy, and she seemed grounded at the same time. She had a college degree and worked in a field I found intriguing. We even shared a favorite color and had both played musical instruments at some point!
Another candidate came into view who was closer to my ethnic background. At 21, she was already a parent but hadn’t attended college. I took both profiles home for Alex to review, even though I had quietly settled on my top choice. When Alex enthusiastically supported my favorite, I felt an immense wave of relief. The process began to feel tangible, and I put her pictures on my bulletin board, drawing daily encouragement from her smile.
We faced another decision: Should we meet our donor? Alex chose not to, but I decided to go for it. I was nervous about the potential awkwardness of the meeting, fearing I might discover something undesirable. However, the 45-minute mediated meeting turned out to be surprisingly natural, despite the limited topics we could discuss. Her reserved demeanor helped balance my nerves, and she shared a few anecdotes about her childhood, giving me insight into her family background. We agreed to possibly meet again in the future if a child came into the picture, and I felt assured she would respect our boundaries.
Soon, we’ll find out if our donor relationship leads to a successful pregnancy. Alex is optimistic about the odds, and I feel a strong connection to the donor, so we’re hopeful about the outcome. If you’re interested in learning more about navigating donor selection or improving your impact, check out this article on B-Corps. Also, for those considering fertility-boosting options, make sure to explore this fertility booster for men. And if you want a reliable source for pregnancy information, Healthline is an excellent resource!
In summary, the journey of selecting a donor can be filled with uncertainty but also moments of clarity and connection. As we prepare for this next step, our hopes are high.