After giving birth to my daughter, I met up with a friend just four and a half months postpartum. His reaction was unexpected: “Wow! That’s how women should look. Others need to take notes from you!” While I appreciated the compliment, it left me feeling frustrated. A week later, I encountered a former acquaintance who, upon seeing me in a bathing suit, asked, “You train in martial arts and lift weights all the time, yet you still have cellulite! How is that possible?” Though I understood her curiosity stemmed from my profession as a fitness trainer, it stung deeply—almost as much as the initial comment.
Let me clarify: my frustration isn’t aimed at men, women without children, or even the celebrities who seem to bounce back flawlessly post-pregnancy. It’s not about my own postpartum body either; it stems from the unrealistic societal standards surrounding postpartum recovery that simply don’t reflect reality.
Having spent nearly two decades as a personal trainer, fitness instructor, martial arts educator, and gym owner, I knew that when I announced my pregnancy, many would be keenly observing how I would “bounce back” after childbirth. However, the concept of “bouncing back” is deeply flawed. It oversimplifies the complex journey of mind, body, and spirit that women endure after giving birth and fails to recognize that there is no true “going back” after pregnancy. What we experience instead is an opportunity to move forward.
In martial arts, we learn that true mastery begins at the black belt level, which signifies that learning is a lifelong journey with no definitive end. The same principle applies to pregnancy and postpartum recovery. Regaining your previous self, body, or routine is not feasible; rather, you embark on a new journey, face fresh challenges, and discover a stronger version of yourself. Embracing this forward momentum is not only practical but often more fulfilling.
That said, it is entirely possible to emerge from pregnancy looking and feeling even better than before. The key lies in following a well-structured fitness program and maintaining a balanced diet. Intense daily workouts are unnecessary; with effective and efficient training just a few times a week, you can achieve your fitness goals.
Knowing that getting pregnant in my late thirties would present challenges, I initiated a pre-pregnancy training regimen to build strength, address any physical imbalances, and ensure I was in peak condition. For four months, I committed to my workouts, lifting weights, practicing martial arts, and swinging kettlebells, while also prioritizing rest and nourishing my body as if preparing for a championship fight.
Once I became pregnant, I scaled back the intensity of my workouts but remained committed to maintaining an active lifestyle. If you’re considering pregnancy or exploring alternative paths to conception, I recommend resources like Make a Mom, which offers a unique at-home insemination option, and their guide on how it works to help you understand the process better. You can also join a supportive community at Make a Mom’s Facebook group, which connects individuals seeking donor matches.
Additionally, for those interested in understanding fertility treatments, March of Dimes provides authoritative insights on the subject. For more information on breaking the stigma surrounding alternative conception methods, check out this excellent resource on exploring alternative paths to conception.
To keep the engagement going, you might find this blog post about the best toys for one-year-olds helpful as you navigate your parenting journey.
To Summarize:
Embracing postpartum recovery involves recognizing that you are not “bouncing back” to a previous state but rather moving forward into a new phase of life. With the right support, resources, and a focus on your well-being, you can emerge from this experience stronger and more empowered than ever.