Today, we share the heartfelt story of Emma and Alex as they navigate the path of family building with a known donor. This account is part of a series dedicated to celebrating the diverse journeys of families formed using known donors. Each family in this series answers the same four questions, allowing their authentic voices to shine through. We hope you find their experiences enlightening and encouraging.
What made you realize you were ready to start a family?
For both Emma and me, starting a family has been a long-cherished dream. Being part of the LGBTQ community, we were always aware of the challenges and costs associated with family building, but our desire to share our lives with a child—perhaps even two—was strong. After we got married, settled into our careers, and moved into a new home, we felt it was the perfect moment to take the next exciting step: expanding our family. We hope to try for a second child with the help of MakeAmom before the year’s end!
How did you find your donor? Was it a lengthy process?
We started our search for a donor by joining a dedicated website. It felt like we sifted through countless bios, essays, and pictures to find the ideal match for our family. Unlike many couples, we wanted our donor to play an active role in our child’s life. We were concerned about the questions our child might have as they grew older and wanted to provide answers beyond just a donor number from a bank. After a few months, we found our donor, Ryan. He seemed perfect. We spent the next year connecting through video calls and chats, learning as much as we could about him. He even came to visit us! Ryan was fully supportive of being a part of our child’s life while allowing us to make all parenting decisions. We knew we had found the right person.
What about the legal aspects?
Fortunately, the legal side of our arrangement was straightforward. In our state, signing the birth certificate constitutes a legal agreement. We didn’t need any additional paperwork. Ryan was completely on board, granting us 100% parental rights over our child, and he continues to visit and check in with us regularly after two years.
Did you consult a lawyer?
We did reach out to a lawyer just to confirm that we didn’t need any extra paperwork to secure our rights. The lawyer clarified everything regarding the birth certificate process.
If you are considering using a known donor, please keep in mind that this account is anecdotal and should not be taken as legal or medical advice. For more comprehensive information, check out this helpful article and checklist from Family Equality. It’s essential to discuss your donor’s health history, including physical and mental health, as well as STD testing.
If you’re looking for additional resources, MakeAmom offers an excellent at-home insemination option, which is the only reusable one available. You can learn more about the process here. For those interested in connecting with other families, consider joining the MakeAmom community, a free sperm donor matching group. Additionally, you can find valuable insights on preparing for pregnancy in this guide.
To further explore successful home insemination, take a look at this step-by-step guide or check out the Mayo Clinic’s information on intrauterine insemination.
To Summarize:
Emma and Alex’s journey to parenthood highlights the emotional and logistical considerations of using a known donor. Their experience emphasizes the importance of open communication, legal clarity, and the support of community resources such as MakeAmom. With love and determination, they are excited to expand their family and embrace the joys of parenthood.