As December 2010 rolled in, we found ourselves on the verge of welcoming our baby boy, who was expected to arrive just in time for New Year’s Eve! While it seemed our story was heading toward a joyous conclusion, the journey to parenthood had been anything but easy. In sharing our experience, I hope to offer some insight or a fresh perspective that might resonate with your own path.
From the start, my partner, Andy, and I were determined to become parents. We were confident that it would happen, whether through our own biological child, an egg donor, or even adoption if necessary. Our priority was to start a family, and we believed that any child who came into our lives would be the perfect match for us. A Buddhist saying about not being attached to specific outcomes became our guiding mantra, helping us to remain focused on the bigger picture instead of the various detours along the way.
Teamwork was crucial for us. I’m fortunate to have Andy by my side, as he is detail-oriented and incredibly patient. In contrast, I tend to be more emotional with a shorter attention span. I thrive on summaries and keep our calendar organized like a pro. Together, we formed a strong partnership where I handled the injections and managed the emotional rollercoaster, while Andy took charge of tracking prescriptions and prepping my medication. This division of labor allowed me to stay relaxed and less stressed.
A significant revelation for me was that I couldn’t force infertility into my life as if it were just another obligation on my to-do list. I was juggling work, social events, and numerous appointments, which left me feeling overwhelmed and resentful. I remember one night, tears streaming down my face, venting to Andy about my frustrations. He helped me realize that in order for our journey to succeed, I needed to fully embrace it. I had to accept the recommendations from our fertility acupuncturist and integrate both eastern and western medicine into our approach. It was clear that negativity could hinder our progress, so I made a conscious effort to shift my mindset. I decided to take a step back from my busy social calendar and prioritize rest and personal well-being, which was a challenge for this extrovert but ultimately made my decisions easier.
We also chose to be open about our struggles with infertility. I’ve always been candid with friends, and that transparency allowed us to seek support during our ups and downs. One friend, who had her own IVF experience, discovered some new preimplantation genetic testing that she thought could benefit us. We discussed it with our doctor, and he was on board with trying it out. On our third IVF cycle, we ended up with 12 viable embryos, but unfortunately, all of them were genetically defective, and we were advised to reconsider our approach with my eggs. This revelation hit us hard.
For a few weeks, we found ourselves in a dark place. However, after processing our feelings and discussing our situation, we were ready to consider using an egg donor. We also decided to have the four frozen embryos from our second cycle tested. While three were found to be genetically defective, one was perfect. This little miracle was my last hope for a biological connection. After transferring him in April, I am now thrilled to share that I am 37 weeks pregnant!
So, that’s a snapshot of our journey. We all have our stories, and Andy and I wish you all the best on your path to parenthood, whatever that may look like for you. If you’re curious about more fertility resources, check out this excellent overview of IVF which can be quite useful. Also, for those interested in boosting fertility, these supplements could be worth looking into, too.
And if you’re looking to connect with others who understand your journey, you might find Emily Carter’s insights here helpful.
In summary, our journey has been filled with ups and downs, but we are grateful for the experiences that have led us to this point. Embracing the process has made all the difference, and we’re excited to welcome our son soon!