The road to becoming parents was not without its challenges for Sarah and Emma, a same-sex couple whose resilience led to the arrival of their baby, Noah. They always understood that starting a family would require some support, and they instinctively knew they would excel as co-parents. Sarah often jokes that Emma is ‘the sentimental one’ while she takes on the role of the ‘practical British partner’.
Emma had long envisioned motherhood, but her struggles with endometriosis raised concerns about her ability to carry a baby. After much discussion, they decided Sarah would be the biological mother, with Emma expressing hope that she wouldn’t feel sidelined during the IVF journey.
They chose TFP Oxford Fertility for their IVF treatment, conveniently located near their home. “We attended an open evening purely out of curiosity, but we left feeling certain this was the right place for us,” Emma shared. “It was heartwarming to see a diverse group of people there, from older couples to other same-sex couples, and we were welcomed warmly. The facility was impressive, too.”
After a bit of hesitation, Sarah underwent the necessary health checks, and they selected a sperm donor from the clinic’s bank. “Since I was going to carry the baby, we aimed for a donor who resembled Emma,” Sarah explained.
Counseling Sessions
As they were using a sperm donor, they attended counseling sessions to discuss the implications. “The counselor from TFP Fertility was wonderful,” Emma said. “From the start, she made us feel comfortable. We had in-depth conversations about how we’d share Noah’s story with him, especially regarding his donor.”
They received helpful resources, including a book to read to Noah when he was older.
A Heartbreaking Loss
The initial treatment cycle began, but complications arose when Sarah’s ovaries became overstimulated, necessitating a hospital stay. “It was a strange experience being a patient at a hospital where I work,” Sarah reflected. “Fortunately, our nurse was amazing and relieved some of our stress about the IVF process.”
After being discharged, they proceeded with the egg collection and a fresh transfer. The excitement was palpable when Sarah became pregnant, but their joy turned to despair at the first scan. “We were eager to see our little one, but the screen showed nothing,” Sarah recalled. “Initially, the clinician was hopeful, but the follow-up scan confirmed our worst fears—a missed miscarriage.”
Both working in the NHS, Sarah and Emma were accustomed to handling tough situations, but this loss hit particularly hard. “It was devastating. All our hopes were built up, and then they crumbled,” Sarah admitted. “I thought I’d be more fertile given my large family background, so this was unexpected.”
“I was overwhelmed with emotion,” Emma added. “I had already fallen in love with our baby from the moment I saw that positive test. Thankfully, Sarah’s level-headedness helped us cope, and we kept the scan photo to remember our little one.”
Missed miscarriages occur in about 1-5% of pregnancies, and TFP Fertility offers specialized counseling for couples in need of support. Despite their heartbreak, Sarah and Emma were determined to try again. “We waited four months before attempting for a second time. It didn’t succeed, and we were heartbroken, but we went for a third try, and it worked! The six-week scan, where we finally saw our tiny fetus, was indescribably emotional,” Sarah recounted.
Noah was born after a smooth pregnancy, and they describe him as ‘the best baby’ ever, showered with love from his grandparents. Emma, as the non-biological mother, felt fully involved throughout the process. “The clinic was incredibly inclusive. Every decision-making moment involved me. Even during scans, they sought my consent, which made me feel connected,” she said.
“I’m beyond grateful that Sarah could give me this magical experience of becoming a mother,” Emma added.
If you’re considering starting your own fertility journey, don’t hesitate to reach out for advice. For more on the subject, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination. To learn more about boosting fertility, you can also visit Make a Mom. And if you’re interested in finding the perfect footwear for your little ones, this blog post might be helpful.
Summary
Sarah and Emma’s journey to parenthood was filled with hurdles, including a missed miscarriage, but their determination and the support from TFP Fertility led to the successful arrival of their son, Noah. The couple emphasizes the importance of inclusivity throughout the IVF process, making both partners feel valued.