When I turned 38, my partner and I made the big decision to start a family. Initially, we sought help through a local clinic and chose a sperm donor from a reputable sperm bank. My journey began with three intrauterine inseminations (IUIs) in the summer of 2010, winter of 2010, and spring of 2011. Each time, I was thrilled to find out I was pregnant, but my excitement quickly turned into heartbreak.
The first pregnancy ended at just 7 weeks, leaving me shocked and disheartened. The second barely lasted to 5 weeks—just after my missed period. After two losses, my doctor encouraged me to stay positive, citing statistics that suggested the next attempt might be successful. So, I went for that third IUI. Unfortunately, that pregnancy only lasted a bit over 8 weeks. At my first ultrasound, I learned there was no heartbeat, just a placenta. I was prescribed medication to induce a miscarriage, but the process was drawn out and painful, with cramping peaking just as I had a job interview. Luckily, I still got the job!
After this third loss, my doctor shifted her tone and suggested we consider IVF. While I seemed to be ovulating, the quality of my eggs was a concern. She thought I might eventually have a successful pregnancy through IUI, but it could involve more heartache along the way.
However, our insurance didn’t cover IVF, and I had initially vowed to avoid such invasive and costly procedures. I had read about women who struggled to set limits on their spending and emotional tolls during this journey, and I worried that IVF might lead me to push myself too far. So, during the spring and summer of 2011, as I adjusted to my new job, I decided to take a step back from trying to conceive. I embraced a child-free lifestyle, enjoying wine, sushi, and rollerblading, and I cherished my marriage and friendships.
By the end of summer, I felt ready to pursue IVF. I committed to one cycle and promised to reassess if it didn’t work. I realized I couldn’t endure endless miscarriages; I wanted a conclusive outcome. I saw IVF as a necessary step to avoid more heartbreak and felt more at peace with the decision.
I wish I could say I did extensive research on fertility clinics, but the truth is, I contacted another clinic and found their pricing confusing, while their support staff was less than helpful. Thankfully, my inquiries to another clinic were answered promptly, and it was conveniently located near my workplace.
I’m so grateful I chose this clinic. The staff and doctors were always available to answer my questions, whether it was about choosing a sperm donor or how many embryos to implant. They were not only professional but also genuinely caring. Importantly, they were at the forefront of fertility treatments. A friend who had IVF in New York only managed to get 3-day embryo growth and had to implant five embryos for a single successful birth. In contrast, my clinic allowed us to grow our embryos for six days and offered genetic testing. We implanted one six-day-old embryo, which led to our beautiful daughter, Lucy.
Dr. Anderson was our doctor, and his passion for his work was evident. He was both a practitioner and researcher, always thinking of innovative ways to tackle infertility. I advise anyone starting this journey to be prepared for the initial appointment—he speaks quickly! He was optimistic about my chances of using my own eggs, which was essential to me. During our follicle assessment, we were pleased to see that my eggs were developing well. We decided it was worth the investment to undergo genetic testing to ensure we picked viable eggs. The counseling sessions were just as supportive as the rest of our experiences.
Next came the fertility medications. They were costly, and giving myself injections was uncomfortable, but I adapted. The meds caused some emotional ups and downs, bloating, and irritability. I won’t lie; it was unnerving to feel so out of sorts with my body’s chemistry. Thankfully, Dr. Anderson and the team adjusted my dosages to keep everything in check, and I was still able to move forward to egg retrieval.
The retrieval process was incredibly organized, more so than anything else I’d encountered medically. We were thrilled when they retrieved 31 eggs! After six days, 15 of those eggs were suitable for genetic testing, which revealed 7 embryos of good quality. We opted to know the sex of the embryos and found we had 5 female and 2 male embryos, all of which were frozen for future use.
After taking time to recover from the retrieval, we faced the decision of how many embryos to transfer. I’d heard stories of transferring multiple embryos leading to multiples, but Dr. Anderson recommended transferring just one based on its quality. We agreed on one of the female embryos, and two weeks later, we received the joyous news that I was pregnant!
With my history of miscarriages, it took a while for my partner and I to let ourselves believe we were really going to have a baby. We kept our hopes at bay well into the second trimester. But as the weeks went by, I stayed pregnant, and eventually, I embraced the experience. Despite the swelling and outgrowing most of my maternity clothes, I felt radiant.
On August 2, 2012, our daughter Lucy was born, and she is the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen. I am so thankful I chose IVF and that I did it with this amazing clinic. I truly believe they are leading the way in fertility techniques, and we directly benefited from their expertise. Yes, the process is expensive, but it was worth every penny. As I write this, my seven-week-old daughter is cooing at me from her swing, and we are completely in love. We are so grateful to everyone at the clinic for helping us create our family.
In summary, my journey through fertility challenges was filled with ups and downs, but ultimately led to the joy of parenthood. Taking a break to focus on myself was vital before diving into IVF, which proved to be the right choice for us. With the support of knowledgeable professionals, I was able to navigate this emotional landscape and finally welcome our daughter into the world.
For further insights on navigating this journey, you can check out this article about Sarah Thompson, CEO and Founder of Make a Mom. If you’re interested in more information about the process, visit this guide on couples’ fertility journeys, which is a great resource on the topic. For anyone considering pregnancy, this resource on pregnancy is also quite helpful.