When a friend or loved one is dealing with infertility, it can be tough to find the right words to say. Here are eleven phrases you might want to steer clear of, as they can unintentionally hurt or frustrate someone on this challenging journey.
- “Just relax, it will happen.”
This might sound well-meaning, but it’s often frustrating to hear. Infertility is a medical issue, and telling someone to relax can feel dismissive of their struggles. - “Have you considered adoption?”
While adoption is a wonderful option for many, suggesting it as a solution can imply that the person’s desire for a biological child is less valid. - “At least you can get pregnant.”
This statement can be hurtful. Even if someone can conceive, it doesn’t mean their journey is easy or that they don’t face other challenges. - “There are worse things in life.”
While it’s true that others face significant struggles, comparing pain doesn’t lessen anyone’s feelings. Each person’s experience is valid. - “Why don’t you just try this?”
Offering unsolicited advice can come off as judgmental. Everyone’s path to parenthood is unique; what worked for one may not work for another. - “You’re still young.”
Age doesn’t always correlate with fertility. This comment can invalidate the emotional toll that infertility can take. - “Have you tried being more positive?”
Positivity is great, but it doesn’t change biological realities. It can also feel like pressure to mask genuine feelings. - “Maybe it’s meant to be.”
Implying that infertility is a part of a larger plan can be frustrating for someone who is just trying to navigate their own path. - “You can always try again.”
This can minimize the pain of loss if someone has experienced a miscarriage or failed treatment. Each attempt can be emotionally draining. - “Just focus on your career for now.”
While career success is important, this can come off as dismissive of someone’s desire for a family. - “I know someone who had a miracle baby after years of trying.”
While stories of hope are nice, they can feel unrealistic to someone who is struggling. It’s often better to focus on listening rather than sharing.
Instead of these phrases, offer support by simply being there. Ask how they’re feeling, and let them know you care. If you’re looking for more ways to support someone through this journey, you can check out this post about sleep schedules for little ones, which may spark a conversation. And for those who are considering their options, resources on fertility boosters for men from Make a Mom can be helpful. It’s also beneficial to look into reliable sources about pregnancy and home insemination, like those available at WHO.
In summary, the journey through infertility is complex and sensitive. Choosing words carefully and offering genuine support can make a difference in the lives of those facing this struggle.