When Samantha, 39, faced unexpected changes at her job, it prompted her to reflect on what she truly desired in life. She shares her experience of undergoing IVF as a single woman and the joy her son, Leo, brings her.
“After my London firm went through a tough restructuring, it hit me hard. I realized that above everything, my biggest dream was to become a mother. I had been solo for ten years, and at 37, I could feel the pressure of my biological clock. With no sign of Mr. Right, I knew I had to take matters into my own hands if I wanted to have a child.”
I attended a session at a local IVF clinic, where I underwent tests to check hormone levels and had an ultrasound of my ovaries. Past health issues had made me anxious about my fertility, but to my surprise, I was more fertile than I anticipated and had a good number of follicles.
However, during a follow-up appointment, I found the consultant’s comments disheartening, prompting me to seek treatment elsewhere and explore NHS options. Although I kept my job in London, I wanted a child-friendly community, which led me to accept an opportunity in Oxford, where I had some family ties.
Settling in, I resumed my baby plans and got referred to an NHS gynecologist through my GP. I was able to undergo some tests, but due to my age and single status, I wasn’t eligible for IVF or IUI on the NHS. It felt incredibly unfair, especially knowing friends my age received NHS-funded IVF. Thankfully, I had savings and decided to use them to pursue treatment, even if I thought the system was unjust.
I felt fortunate that Oxford Fertility was nearby. From my first visit, the compassionate demeanor of the staff was a breath of fresh air. My younger sister was about to give birth, and while I was thrilled for her, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of envy. When I broke down in front of the doctor, she held my hand and reassured me that it was okay to feel sad for my own situation while being happy for my sister. This was a huge contrast to my previous clinic.
Throughout my treatment, I developed a rapport with several nurses, especially one who made me feel seen and understood, rather than just another patient. They walked me through the process, being upfront about the hurdles I faced. Due to my irregular periods, my womb lining was thin, which posed challenges for embryo implantation. We tried different approaches to enhance my chances before IVF, but I faced setbacks. I first went on the pill, which felt counterintuitive, then took Provera, but neither worked. Eventually, we moved forward with IVF, but the nasal spray for downregulation caused cysts on my ovaries—something that doesn’t happen to everyone.
As Christmas approached, the clinic closed for a couple of weeks, and I decided to focus on enjoying the holidays. When January came, we resumed treatment with injections. I had eggs collected, which were then fertilized with sperm from my chosen donor. While many embryos were created, only one was transferred back, with the rest frozen for future use.
I was relieved to find a suitable sperm donor, as the clinic had a limited selection. They even have a counselor who meets every donor to discuss the implications of their decision, which provided great peace of mind.
Unfortunately, my first IVF cycle failed, leaving me heartbroken. I felt as if time was slipping away. However, the consultant reassured me that the embryo likely had chromosomal abnormalities, which was beyond my control.
Determined, I tried again with a frozen embryo, and this time it worked—I was pregnant! Although it felt like a long journey, I realized that things had progressed relatively quickly for me.
Pregnancy was a joy. Once I got past the nausea, I loved every moment and maintained my active lifestyle, even exploring pregnancy yoga and hypnobirthing. Sadly, I ended up needing an emergency C-section after a failed induction, which was not the birth I envisioned. However, the most important thing was that Leo arrived safely. Being a mom is incredible; while I would have preferred to share this experience with a partner, I’m so grateful I chose this path alone. It’s been liberating not having to compromise on parenting choices, and I’ve received amazing support from family and friends. Leo is the first boy in our family in quite some time, and my parents are thrilled to be hands-on grandparents.
For any woman considering this journey, I advise being honest with yourself about your desires and whether you have the financial means and energy to do it solo. I followed my heart, and I wouldn’t change a thing—Leo is everything to me.”
This story serves as a powerful reminder of the joys and challenges of pursuing motherhood on one’s own terms. If you’re interested in more information about fertility and related topics, check out our other blog posts, including one discussing pediatric multisystem inflammatory syndrome, a COVID-19-related condition in children. And for those looking to enhance their fertility further, consider exploring options from trusted resources like Make a Mom or Cleveland Clinic’s podcast for more insights.
Summary
Samantha, after a career shake-up, realized her dream of motherhood was paramount. Despite facing setbacks during her IVF journey as a single woman, she persevered and is now a proud mom to Leo. Her story highlights the importance of self-reflection, determination, and the support available for women navigating similar paths.