Questions? Call or Message Us
In vitro fertilization (IVF)
Jul 1, 2022
“When Lily was born, we nearly forgot about our wedding!” – Emma
Jack and I have different takes on how we first crossed paths. I believe it was in Las Vegas, while he insists we met beforehand. Personally, I think my version is a lot more fun! We found ourselves in Vegas nine years ago, attending a mutual friend’s wedding. I was a bridesmaid, and Jack was the best man. Ever since that day, we’ve been inseparable, and now we’re gearing up for our own wedding this Saturday!
We planned our wedding right before embarking on our IVF journey. I was concerned that the treatment would be lengthy and all-consuming, so I thought our wedding would be a nice distraction. Instead, it all came rushing at us simultaneously.
After trying unsuccessfully for a baby for a couple of years, we underwent several tests and were given the diagnosis of unexplained fertility. Torn between pursuing IVF or adoption, I reflected on my career as a nanny, where I genuinely adore the children I care for. I wasn’t sure if I needed a biological connection to love a child. Ultimately, we decided that if we skipped IVF and went straight to adoption, we’d always wonder “what if.” So, after a lot of deliberation, we resolved to at least try IVF first.
A close friend of mine has two kids, both conceived through Wessex Fertility, and she highly recommended the clinic. We joined an online Zoom meeting in early 2020 for a general introduction to IVF. We kept our cameras off, though, worried that someone we knew would see us. Now I’m open about it, but back then, I felt the need for privacy after experiencing so much heartbreak.
Wessex Fertility is located in the Freya Centre. During our attempts to keep our IVF journey under wraps, we’d joke about needing to visit “Freya.” The IVF process itself was pretty straightforward, and I felt that the staff genuinely cared about us. It wasn’t just a medical procedure; they were rooting for us.
I held off for the full two weeks before taking the pregnancy test, as I feared a false positive would crush me. Those two weeks felt like an eternity, but we wanted to do it right. I didn’t expect it to work on the first try; I thought we’d be lucky on our third attempt. Jack had gone for a morning run when I took the test and saw the positive result. I was pacing around the flat, waiting for him to return, double-checking the instructions just to be sure.
Unfortunately, my journey as a mom-to-be wasn’t as glamorous as I’d hoped. It came with bleeding, nausea, heartburn, and even obstetric cholestasis, which meant my liver was overproducing bile. This complication led to the doctors inducing labor a week early.
Jack had been there for the initial stages of labor but went home for the night. They called him back at 1 AM, and after taking lots of medication, things became a bit hazy for me until our baby arrived at 8:30 AM. My main memory is of hearing them discussing forceps and an episiotomy while I was just trying to process everything.
We welcomed Lily Freya, named after the building, weighing in at 7lb 13oz. We spent one night in Winchester hospital and returned home the following evening.
Life now is wonderful! We adore Lily, who has exceeded all our dreams. She sleeps with us, which we hadn’t planned for, but it seems to work best for her comfort. When she was just six weeks old, we realized our wedding was just around the corner, and I had to scramble to find a new wedding dress since my pre-baby one no longer fit!
Lily is very much part of the wedding preparations. She accompanies me to all the appointments and even has her own adorable dress for the big day. We’re tying the knot at a Mason’s center near our home, where we can hold both the ceremony and reception. Jack had two non-negotiables for the wedding: no church and a pie and mash dinner. So, we’ve organized a pie and mash van for the meal and an ice cream van for dessert!
For anyone reading this, my advice would be to find ways to involve your partner in the process. A lot of the burden can fall on the woman, so it’s crucial to think of ways to get the man involved. Jack took charge of all my injections and managed the medications, which worked beautifully for our dynamic. There was a moment early on when I looked at the pile of needles and doubted everything. But in the end, it’s all worth it for her. It’s truly amazing.
Summary
Emma and Jack share their journey through IVF, the challenges they faced with unexplained fertility, and the joy of becoming parents to their daughter Lily. With a unique wedding plan that includes Lily as a key participant, they reflect on the importance of partnership and support throughout their fertility experience.