Fertility is a shared journey, yet it often feels like the weight falls on the shoulders of women in heterosexual couples, even though male fertility is equally significant. I’m Jenna Parker, and as I navigated my fertility journey, I quickly discovered the unexpected stress that timed intercourse can create.
During my attempts to conceive, my partner, Alex, was a tremendous source of support—attending every appointment and sharing in the emotional rollercoaster of hope and disappointment. Despite this, I felt an overwhelming load of responsibility resting on me, from the physiological to the psychological and logistical aspects. The system is still geared towards viewing infertility as a “women’s” issue, which only exacerbates the stress I felt. I often found myself consumed with questions about diet, exercise, sleep, and supplements. The list felt endless.
The Mental Burden of Trying to Conceive
Society places the onus on women to manage the timing of baby-making encounters. Ovulation tracker apps are designed for those who ovulate, leaving many women feeling solely responsible. What used to be intimate moments became scheduled events, complete with calendar invites titled “OVULATION.” This societal expectation is frustratingly gendered, as seen in popular culture, like the iconic scene of Monica chasing Chandler in Friends when it’s time to get busy. Most fertility trackers focus on women, often ignoring male fertility issues, and it’s evident in search data that women are typically the ones looking up fertility-related information.
When Alex and I were trying to conceive our now three-year-old daughter, we faced additional challenges. Our busy schedules had us living on opposite coasts. With Alex frequently flying from New York to San Francisco, it became increasingly difficult to synchronize our work commitments with my fertility window. I often joked that my unexplained infertility was partly due to our hectic travel schedules.
Finding Relief with At-Home Insemination
If only I had known about the options available today! At-home insemination kits like those found at Make a Mom didn’t exist back when I started trying. I thought they were meant only for those facing severe challenges. However, they’re actually a fantastic solution for couples like us who often find themselves apart. We missed prime fertility opportunities due to travel, but with an at-home kit, Alex could have left a sample for me before his early morning flight, allowing me to use it within the recommended time frame.
The stress of coordinating conception was something I didn’t fully comprehend until later. It made me realize that caring for my mental health was just as vital as my physical health during this journey. Understanding the mental load of trying to conceive ultimately led me to launch Conception Hub, a digital fertility platform dedicated to improving outcomes for couples trying to conceive. Our mission is to help members achieve pregnancy faster while minimizing costs and stress. We provide evidence-based resources, expert advice, peer support, and on-call coaching, with a strong emphasis on mental well-being.
The Importance of Support and Community
Just as parenting requires a supportive community, so does conception. I soon recognized that, while Alex was my rock, I needed additional support—people who understood my struggles and could offer solutions. Achieving equality in parenting must begin with equality in the conception journey.
For more insights, check out our post on C-Sections, which provides valuable information relevant to pregnancy and childbirth.
In summary, the mental load of timed intercourse can be overwhelming, but recognizing this can lead to better support systems and resources. By understanding and addressing the unique stresses of trying to conceive, we can work towards creating a more equitable experience for all involved.