Miscarriage—it’s a word that carries a heavy weight, often avoided in conversation. Many of us choose to wait until after the first trimester to share our pregnancy news, hoping to shield ourselves from the painful prospect of explaining a loss that is beyond our control. Whether or not to discuss these experiences is a personal decision, but I truly believe sharing stories can foster a sense of community and understanding. After my own miscarriages, I dove deep into online resources, eager to gather as much information as I could. There’s a lot of both accurate and misleading info out there.
Miscarriage Options
When it comes to handling a miscarriage, there are several physical options to consider, and it’s essential to understand the logistics involved. Each of my three miscarriages led me to select different methods for managing the loss of fetal tissue.
1. Natural:
My first miscarriage caught me off guard. I had an inkling something was wrong, yet I clung to hope until my doctor delivered the heartbreaking news. After a night of bleeding, I went to the hospital the next morning. The doctor presented me with three options: medical, surgical, or natural. I opted for the natural approach, reassured that I wouldn’t face complications. This method felt less invasive but left me feeling somewhat lost, as I wasn’t with my regular doctor and lacked clarity on what to expect. The experience was far more intense than a heavy period; tissue passing in such a sudden way was devastating. After that initial turmoil, I bled for two to three weeks, enduring significant cramping and contractions until it finally subsided.
2. Surgical:
My second miscarriage was detected through ultrasound. This time around, I decided on a more medically assisted route. I had the choice between a D&C (dilation and curettage) and an MVA (manual vacuum aspiration). I chose the MVA procedure in-office to avoid anesthesia. My doctor provided various medications to prepare my body, including misoprostol for cervical softening, painkillers, and anti-anxiety meds to keep me relaxed. Unfortunately, my body reacted poorly, causing me to vomit uncontrollably, but the doctor proceeded after administering a shot of Phenergan. The procedure itself was quick and relatively painless, with bleeding lasting less than a week and less cramping than my first experience.
3. Medication:
For my third miscarriage, also identified by ultrasound, I was determined to avoid the vomiting incident from before. Instead, I opted for medication, using misoprostol with instructions to insert tablets near the cervix. Painkillers were offered again, but I found that ibuprofen was sufficient. This method allowed me to manage the timing of the miscarriage, so I could handle it in the comfort of my own home. The majority of the bleeding occurred within the first twelve hours, with manageable cramping and lighter bleeding following that initial period.
No Option is Ideal
The reality is, no one wants to face these choices, and none of the options are particularly pleasant. I share my experiences so that others may feel less alone and more informed should they find themselves in similar situations. None of these experiences were what I would wish on anyone, and choosing one over the others feels inherently wrong. They’re all painful in their own right, but understanding each option may help someone select the least distressing approach.
Since then, I’ve had a couple of healthy pregnancies, but the memories of that year filled with loss remain vivid in my mind. I often wish I had someone to guide me through the options and what to expect with each.
If you’re considering starting or expanding your family, resources like Vegas Pregnancy for sperm donor matching and Make a Mom for at-home insemination kits can be invaluable. You can check out how it works here. For those navigating parenthood, finding the right toddler bed can make a big difference, and you might find ideas in our blog post about toddler beds. For more information on fertility treatments, I recommend visiting March of Dimes for excellent insights on pregnancy and home insemination.
In closing, remember that these journeys can be challenging, but you are not alone.