When I began my journey to conceive, I realized that many important aspects of fertility were overlooked in school sex education. As a new parent, I aim to ensure that others understand the complexities of conception beyond the simplistic notion that pregnancy can happen just by touching a boy (if only it were that simple!). It’s crucial to strike a balance, as we don’t want young girls to think getting pregnant is nearly impossible, which might lead them to take unnecessary risks. Understanding how age, hormones, and overall health influence the process of bringing a baby into the world is essential, as it often feels like a mission. Here are some key lessons I learned while trying to conceive:
1. Unprotected Sex Doesn’t Guarantee Pregnancy.
I quickly realized that one instance of unprotected sex doesn’t always lead to pregnancy. If you managed to conceive right away, congratulations—your timing must have been impeccable! However, for many of us, the journey takes longer. According to the NHS, the average woman will conceive within a year of trying. For a typical 30-year-old with a functioning reproductive system, the monthly chance of conceiving is around 20%. For a healthy 40-year-old, this drops to just 5%.
2. Allow Yourself to Feel All Emotions.
It’s perfectly normal to feel devastated when your period arrives or when a friend announces her pregnancy. Acknowledge these feelings instead of punishing yourself for them. Surrounding yourself with understanding individuals who can relate to your experience can be incredibly helpful. Find your support network!
3. Egg Quality Matters Significantly.
You are born with all the eggs you’ll ever have. While they’re immature at birth, how you live your life in your teens, twenties, and thirties impacts their quality. This isn’t meant to make you feel guilty; life is about experiences. Just remember that, like your skin, your eggs may show signs of aging by age 35, and their health declines rapidly after that. Taking the right supplements in the months leading up to conception can be vital. For more on supporting fertility, visit Make a Mom.
4. Sperm Quality is Crucial Too.
While it’s easy to focus on what you can do, remember that sperm take about 90 days to be produced. Men don’t have a fixed sperm reserve, so their lifestyle choices in the months leading up to conception matter. Alcohol, cannabis, and excessive heat (from hot tubs and saunas) can negatively impact sperm quality. Optimal temperature is vital for sperm health.
5. Forget the 12-Week Rule.
The belief that you shouldn’t share your pregnancy news before 12 weeks is outdated. You won’t jinx your pregnancy by expressing your joy early. In fact, having a supportive network during those uncertain first weeks can be incredibly beneficial.
6. Miscarriage is More Common Than You Think.
One in four women will experience a miscarriage, and many may face more than one. This statistic highlights how common it is, yet it remains a taboo topic. It’s crucial to understand that it is not your fault, and if you experience an early miscarriage, inform your GP. For more insights, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination at Healthline.
7. Understand Your Cycle.
Many women don’t ovulate on day 14 of their cycle. It’s essential to track your cycle closely to understand when you are most fertile.
For those who want more guidance on this topic, explore one of our other blog posts, From Trying Naturally to Conception at Home.
In summary, navigating the path to conception can be complex and filled with emotions. It’s essential to educate yourself about fertility, understand your own body, and seek support from others. Remember that you’re not alone in this journey.