You might think I’m a bit traditional, considering I still keep a physical calendar—yes, the one you jot down notes in with a pen. I was in my mid-20s when online dating platforms like eHarmony and Match revolutionized the dating landscape. At that time, all my single friends were creating profiles, albeit quietly. After witnessing a few successful online match weddings, I decided to give it a shot.
One Sunday, I sat down with a friend to craft my online dating profile. I tackled multiple-choice and essay-style questions about my personality, values, and what I sought in a partner. I even created a new email address dedicated solely to this online venture, fully convinced I would meet someone special.
Initially, the thrill of connecting with potential partners faded as I reached out to various matches, but no one reciprocated—until Gabe entered the picture. He initiated a round of questions, and I was thrilled; our profiles seemed to align perfectly. With my friends’ input, I carefully answered his questions and began to develop feelings for him.
However, life took a turn when I received heartbreaking news about my father’s late-stage cancer diagnosis. I shared this with Gabe, mentioning our complicated relationship. After that, communication ceased. I found myself obsessively rereading my messages, trying to decipher what went wrong. When I finally reached out to him, he replied with a single, chilling sentence: “I don’t date girls who have complicated issues.” Just like that, he vanished from my life.
Heartbroken and disillusioned, I abandoned online dating. During my time offline, I explored a few dates, had fleeting crushes, and even dated an old college friend. But as I approached my early 30s, a close friend convinced me to venture back into the online dating world, citing a new global dating site that appealed to her.
Fast forward a decade, and I found myself once again crafting the “perfect” profile, responding to questions meticulously, and selecting just the right photos. While my friend’s inbox filled rapidly with messages from suitors, mine brimmed with men who sought a submissive partner or those intrigued primarily by my American citizenship. I attempted to reach out to a few who seemed promising, but once again, silence prevailed. Eventually, I disabled my account while my friend began a relationship with someone she met online.
After relocating twice—first to D.C. and then to Denver—I thought maybe I just needed to try different sites. Yet, after a few more disappointing experiences, I would deactivate my account each time. Now at 38, I’ve come to a realization: online dating simply isn’t for me. While many have found success through these platforms (and I’ve attended several weddings as a result), I dislike the way profiles can often misrepresent who we truly are. The process of curating answers with my friends feels forced, and I never felt I was presenting my authentic self.
The notion of “shopping” for dates didn’t sit right with me either, nor did the ease of ghosting someone. After 13 years and countless online dating sites, I’ve decided to step away completely. While it seems everyone else is finding their perfect match online, I’ve chosen to embrace my single life fully. Since logging off, I’ve never felt happier. I no longer obsess over meeting someone and instead focus on enjoying my life.
Without the distraction of online profiles, I’ve rediscovered my passions—hiking, writing, and spending quality time with loved ones. A newfound joy has blossomed from allowing myself to simply be in the present. Now, instead of staring at a screen, I find myself smiling at strangers, realizing you never know where a smile might lead.
If you’re curious about home insemination, check out one of our other blog posts here. For those looking for resources on artificial insemination, Cryobaby has great products, and Resolve offers valuable information about pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, stepping away from online dating has allowed me to find deep happiness in my single life. I’ve shifted my focus from searching for love online to cherishing the present moment, engaging in activities I adore, and connecting with those around me.