Last night, my goal was to hit the sack early. Seems straightforward, right?
Nighttime Chronicles
8:28 PM: I settle into Leo’s bed to read him stories, staying until he drifts off. I’m tempted to just join him in slumber.
8:49 PM: I decide against falling asleep and head to put Max to bed.
9:01 PM: After some convincing, Max agrees to sleep in his own room. We aren’t meant to be sharing a space, buddy. I lie down with him. Max wants to chat. Max wants to read. Max wants to play. Max wants to create shadow puppets. I contemplate just dozing off with him.
9:38 PM: Finally, Max is asleep.
9:40 PM: Tuck in Zoe.
10:21 PM: At last, I’m in my own bed. Hallelujah!
10:24 PM: My partner, Tom, joins me.
10:41 PM: Tom is snoring.
10:46 PM: Leo coughs.
10:48 PM: Tom’s snoring escalates. He insists he doesn’t snore, claiming he can sleep through anything.
10:52 PM: Tom yells after getting kicked in the shin during my attempt to silence the snoring.
10:54 PM: I relocate to Leo’s bed. No snoring, no coughing here.
11:00 PM: Zoe starts coughing.
11:07 PM: Tom’s snoring echoes from across the hall. It’s that loud.
11:14 PM: Leo sneezes.
11:30 PM: I move to the guest bed. Finally, it’s quiet.
11:48 PM: The dog begins barking. A car alarm goes off. The wind howls.
11:15 PM: I find myself on the couch, scrolling through Facebook and watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
1:31 AM: Leo coughs and whines. I shift back to his room.
1:32 AM: I hear the toilet flush.
1:37 AM: Max calls for me. I bring him to Leo’s room where he squeezes onto the bed with me.
1:42 AM: Back to my own bed. Tom is still snoring and huffing after getting nudged in the arm.
1:43 AM: I shift to Max’s now-empty bed, catching a faint whiff of pee.
3:08 AM: Leo wakes up, finds me in Max’s room, and flops down on my face.
4:12 AM: The dog paces. The house creaks. Leo plays with my hair.
5:50 AM: Tom’s alarm sounds.
5:55 AM: Again, Tom’s alarm blares.
6:00 AM: Yet another alarm.
6:05 AM: The alarm again.
6:10 AM: One more time, the alarm goes off.
6:14 AM: Leo is up and wants breakfast.
And I ponder why I’m perpetually exhausted.
This article was originally published on Dec. 21, 2010.
If you’re interested in more insightful content, be sure to check out this blog post on stylish maternity swimsuits, one of our other great reads. And for those looking into home insemination, visit this comprehensive resource on artificial insemination kits. You can also explore essential information on pregnancy and home insemination at this excellent site.
Summary
The humorous account follows a parent’s struggle for a good night’s sleep while juggling the demands of multiple children. From settling kids to bed and dealing with snoring partners to the chaos of nighttime coughs and calls for attention, the narrative captures the exhaustion of parenting.