The mere mention of having just one child often elicits a range of reactions, especially when I share with others that my little one is over four years old. While friends and family generally respond with kindness and support, it’s the occasional stranger in a grocery store line that takes me by surprise. Their faces contort as they quickly process my news, followed by the inevitable question: “When will you have another?” They seem to hold their breath, waiting for the answer that confirms their assumption that our family will soon grow.
However, when I explain that we don’t plan on expanding our family beyond our trio, I can almost see the internal struggle manifesting as a twitch in their eye. Here are some of the most memorable responses I’ve encountered:
- Aren’t you worried she’ll be lonely? (Sure, because I keep her isolated at home!)
- I once met an only child who was spoiled and really hard to deal with. (Right, because I’ve never met any difficult people with siblings.)
- You’ll probably change your mind when she’s older and prefers her friends over you. (Yes, because her main purpose is to combat my loneliness.)
- Is it possible you can’t have more? (If I slap you on the back, will your face remain scrunched?)
- What about adoption? (Oh yes, I hear Walmart has a new line of children! I should hurry and grab one.)
- Well, I have five kids and it’s been so rewarding. My youngest is in prison, but he’s learning a lot. My second daughter’s fourth husband lives with me, and his kids aren’t mine, but they are grandchildren… (Excuse me, I think I see an open lane.)
- When you’re gone, she’ll have a lot to manage sorting your stuff. (How’s that lawsuit with your siblings going over your dad’s will?)
- Your daughter probably only connects with adults, huh? (Exactly why it takes me forever to pry her away from her friends at school.)
- Does she get everything she wants? I imagine shopping is tough. (Oh, I didn’t realize being a parent of one meant I couldn’t say “no.”)
And my absolute favorite:
- What if something happens to her? (Hmm, I hadn’t considered a backup plan. They’re all so similar. If I stock up, they’ll practically be free!)
Our decision to have one child was thoughtful, recognizing our limits while prioritizing a fulfilling long-term quality of life. Our family of three is complete and whole, without any missing pieces. This does not diminish my husband’s role as a father, my role as a mother, or our child’s identity as a daughter.
For us, this family dynamic is perfect, and that’s what truly matters. If you’re exploring options for growing your family, consider reading about the possibility of conception just days after ovulation in our other blog post here. For a comprehensive understanding of the journey ahead, visit Make a Mom, an authority on this topic, or check out the NICHD for excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
This article reflects on the experiences of a parent who has chosen to raise just one child. It highlights the reactions from others and emphasizes the joy and fulfillment found in their family dynamic. The decision to have only one child is portrayed as a thoughtful choice that prioritizes quality of life.