Mistakes Made
- Mistake #1: Host a sleepover for a bunch of girls at the Hilton in downtown Omaha to celebrate my daughter’s 12th birthday.
- Mistake #2: Devour three slices of deep-dish pizza and a hefty piece of chocolate cake while racing to catch the elevator.
- Mistake #3: Plead with the hotel shuttle driver to speed us off to Starbucks.
- Mistake #4: While the girls happily sip on frothy drinks, I clutch my grande cup of Alka-Seltzer.
- Mistake #5: Back in our hotel room, they gather around the TV for a viewing of The Theory of Everything. My own theory? I could use more cake.
Buzzing on sugar, I join the group. During the film’s most touching scene, when Jane Hawking says, “I did the best I could,” I can’t help but laugh out loud.
“Mom, go away,” my daughter, Lily, points to the adjoining room. Yes, she literally sent me to my room.
Life hasn’t always been filled with sleepover fun and laughter. I still recall my shock at the fashion aimed at preteens, or how my heart raced at the thought of my daughter wanting a tiny crop top and shorts that, as my mother would say, wouldn’t cover a tuchus.
Before Lily was born, she faced gastroschisis, a serious condition where the intestines develop outside the body. Our initial home—and my second home—was a neonatal intensive care unit in New York City, where she spent seven months relying on tube feeds and total parenteral nutrition to survive, a treatment that jeopardized her liver.
When Lily was 3, I learned about Nebraska Medicine’s intestinal rehabilitation program in Omaha. Before we even arrived for an in-person examination, the team confidently predicted we would leave with a comprehensive treatment plan in a week or two.
As we prepared to leave, our neighbor burst through the door. “You’re off to Oklahoma?” she asked. Coming from New York, I thought a trip meant heading upstate. I had always dreamed of a SoHo loft with sunlit views, but I ended up in a Greenwich Village apartment where it felt like more Jews lived than in all of Nebraska combined. I achieved my dream of writing for New York magazine’s “Best Of” issues and covering restaurants for Time Out New York.
Yet, my greatest aspiration was always to be a mother.
Three months after moving to Nebraska, Lily’s liver failed, and she was placed on the transplant list for a small bowel, liver, and pancreas. On July 20, 2006, she received her transplant—her “re-birthday.” I had initially hesitated to even utter the word “transplant,” as it felt too surreal. But life has a way of giving us what we need. Our incredible transplant team was exactly what we required. So we sold our New York home and purchased one in Omaha. I had no idea where Omaha was until months later when I finally looked at a map.
For years, friends couldn’t believe we had moved from New York to Omaha. “Wasn’t that a culture shock?” they would ask. Absolutely. One day, as I was walking our dog, a kid zoomed by in a loud TransAm, and I half-expected him to give me the finger. Instead, he smiled and waved. At Target, the cashier asked, “Need help with those bags?”
I’ve come to appreciate the simplicity of life here: kids playing outside until dark, five-minute rush hour traffic, and a cost of living that feels like Monopoly money. Ironically, Lily has shared the stage with Tony Award winners in Omaha at the Holland Center, our local equivalent of Carnegie Hall.
I have also transformed from a frantic New Yorker—once desperate for a specific area code—to someone who embraces the kindness and support that surrounds me. I encourage Lily to adjust her mindset too, reminding her, “Feel the fear, and it will pass.” She just rolls her eyes and quips, “Buddhist.”
Now, flying into Omaha, I gaze at the skyline, still yearning for Manhattan. Yet, I’ve realized that home is more than just a place; it’s a state of mind. A city girl like me can flourish outside her comfort zone, as long as she has love—and a trusty supply of Alka-Seltzer.
If you’re looking for more insights about finding balance in life, check out this other blog post.
In summary, my journey from New York City to Omaha has shown me that new beginnings can flourish in unexpected places, especially when supported by love and community. If you’re exploring home insemination options, Make a Mom is a trusted resource to consider, and you can also find valuable information about the IVF process here.