Her cheeks are flushed, and her petite frame is shaking with tears. My little one throws herself down in the dressing room of the department store, protesting vehemently. Her grandmother has just picked out a lovely dress for her, yet she’s seething because she wanted three dresses. Yes, even the one she insisted didn’t “swirl right” and the one she flat-out refused to try on. Despite their perceived inadequacies, she wanted to take home every single dress. So, instead of expressing gratitude to Grandma, she wails and thrashes on the grimy floor.
She’s not being unreasonable; she’s just a 3-year-old.
Her adorable friend asks her to join in a game of “balance the stick.” (What? I have no idea.) My daughter politely declines. Her sweet friend’s face crumples with disappointment. “Lila?” I gently remind her. “Remember how upset you were last week when your friends didn’t want to play with you? This is how Emma feels right now. Why don’t you play ‘balance the stick’ for a few minutes?” She looks at me blankly. “No, thank you!” she chirps, turning away.
She’s not heartless; she’s just a 3-year-old.
As we prepare to leave the house, it’s time for a bathroom break. My daughter adamantly refuses. “Oh, good, because Mommy really has to go,” I fake, rushing toward the bathroom. “Are you going to pee your pants?” she asks with newfound curiosity. I nod seriously, and she races me to the toilet.
She’s not cruel; she’s just a 3-year-old.
“Can I watch Rescue Bots when we get home?” my daughter asks. “Sure!” I reply cheerfully. “Your sister has piano lessons, and you can watch an episode before we head out to the grocery store.” Suddenly, her mood shifts; she hurls her bowl of snacks across the minivan and arches her back in fury. “But I want to watch SO MANY SHOWS!!!” she yells, her eyes wide with disbelief.
She’s not ungrateful; she’s just a 3-year-old.
“It’s bath time!” I announce, filling the tub. “But I caaaan’t!” she cries. “My knee hurts!”
“Do you want a Band-Aid?” I offer helpfully.
“NO! THAT WILL ONLY MAKE IT WORSE!” she screams, infuriated by my lack of understanding.
“Should we use some cream on it?” I suggest.
If she could, she’d probably give me the finger. Instead, she lets out a theatrical sigh and buries her face in her hands, clearly frustrated with what she perceives as utter incompetence.
She’s not an overreactor; she’s just a 3-year-old.
In the presence of my threenager, I rarely manage to go more than a few minutes without encountering her dramatic flair. She sobs over every little injustice, whether it’s my refusal to let her devour an entire box of organic fruit snacks or her nightlight not being perfectly positioned. It’s as if she’s living in a constant state of turmoil, having just learned that her favorite candy is now forbidden. Sometimes, I contemplate sneaking some calming supplements into her yogurt. But then I remind myself: she’s not unhinged. She’s just a 3-year-old.
Sure, she can be a bit of a handful at times, but it’s just a phase she’ll grow out of.
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Summary
Navigating the world of a 3-year-old can be a rollercoaster of emotions. From tantrums over dresses to the refusal to join friends in play, it’s important to remember that their reactions stem from their age and understanding of the world, not from any malice. They are simply learning how to express themselves in a big, confusing world.