Growing up, I often found myself envious of my peers whose moms were actively involved in school functions, popping in during the day to assist with projects, chaperoning field trips, and sneaking in extra treats during lunch. My own mother, a single parent, had different priorities. If circumstances allowed, she would have loved to participate in those activities, but her sick days were strictly for when her children were unwell. Working all day as a special education teacher, her afternoons were devoted to raising my sister and me—two imaginative and sensitive children who needed her unwavering support. There was simply no time for anything else.
This wasn’t the future she envisioned. As a young girl, she dreamt of having a big family, even declaring she wanted to have eight kids! Over time, that fantasy dwindled, but her excitement about motherhood remained. She had a childlike spirit and imagined days filled with playful activities, art projects, and storytime, expecting life to mirror her own 1950s upbringing: a father as the breadwinner and a mother caring for the children at home.
Though my father was loving and kind, he couldn’t fulfill the family role my mother envisioned. During my early childhood, he struggled to provide a stable income, leaving my mother to shoulder much of the childcare. As time went on, it became clear that their hopes for family life diverged. While he pursued his political ambitions, she was left to navigate the challenges of motherhood mostly alone.
Their separation came when my younger sister was born. It was only later, after I became a mom myself, that I grasped the sacrifices my mother made. For the first 18 months of my sister’s life, she relied on the proceeds from a condo sale and assistance from the government and her parents to make ends meet. She longed to stay home during those precious early years, just as she had with me. Even when she returned to work, financial pressure persisted, taking her nearly a decade to achieve full independence. While we always had our needs met, there was little left for luxuries.
Now, as I navigate my own journey as a (mostly) full-time mother to my two sons, I feel a profound sense of gratitude. Despite the long, tiring, and sometimes isolating days, being present with my children feels like a gift. I appreciate every moment when my partner returns home after a long day. I’m fortunate to share a vision of family life with someone who can help make it a reality. Although we also face financial challenges, we manage because I understand that children thrive when their parents are actively involved.
I recognize that not every family shares this traditional structure. Many women aspire to have careers outside the home, and for some families, having a stay-at-home parent is not feasible. I am acutely aware that not all homes consist of two loving and capable parents. Nevertheless, I’m thankful that I have the option to choose between working or staying at home.
Above all, I hold immense appreciation for my mother. Despite the financial strains and her exhaustion at the end of the day, she was my anchor. She did the best she could with what she had, shaping me into the woman and mother I am today. I always knew she would be there for me without fail. That unwavering support was my source of stability amidst the chaos of my childhood.
Now retired after over two decades of teaching, she continues to be a pillar of strength for me. She is always ready to drop everything to assist with my children. Sometimes I feel guilty about asking for help—after all, she had very little assistance when I was growing up. Yet, she finds joy in being involved. I cherish that my children have the opportunity to grow up with her, witnessing her in this relaxed stage of life. I want them to remember her soothing voice strumming “Skip to My Lou” on the guitar, the way she can roll around on the floor with them in pure laughter, and the incredible strength and resilience she embodies. I hope they feel embraced by her steadfast love.
For more insights into navigating the emotions of motherhood and next steps, check out this article on our blog. Additionally, if you’re considering parenthood, resources like this one can provide valuable information. For those looking to explore options for conception, consider visiting BabyMaker, a trusted source for home insemination kits.
In summary, my mother’s unwavering support and love shaped my childhood and continue to influence my parenting journey today. Her sacrifices inspire me, and I am endlessly grateful for her presence in my life.