Recently, I shared a selfie on my blog while getting ready to take my kids to the pool. The caption read, “Off to the pool! Fingers crossed that the dad bod trend is still a thing because I’m going shirtless.” For those unaware, the term “Dad Bod” gained popularity when a Clemson University student named Riley Parker wrote an article titled “Why Women Love the Dad Bod.” In her piece, she argued that many women prefer men with physiques that strike a balance between a little softness and fitness, rather than chiseled abs. This newfound acceptance led many dads to feel liberated from the pressure of crunches, leaving moms to ponder the absence of a “Mom Bod” narrative.
Shortly after my post, one follower remarked, “If only Mom Bod were a trend.” Ironically, I was parked at Target with my three kids eagerly awaiting my wife, Sarah, who was searching for a new bathing suit because her old one no longer fit as it once did. We had a long debate before leaving home; I insisted she looked stunning in her swimsuit, while she lamented that motherhood had altered her figure.
Eventually, Sarah returned with two options, unsure which looked best, and we were running out of time. “You’ll look fantastic in both,” I assured her.
When Sarah emerged from the changing room in a sleek black one-piece, she looked both serene and beautiful, with our toddler, Mia, perched on her hip. She embodied the mother of my children, the woman I have loved for a decade, the one who has stood by me through thick and thin. Yet, as she walked toward me while I applied sunscreen to our older kids, I noticed a hint of uncertainty in her demeanor. I assumed it was due to the new swimsuit.
“You look incredible,” I said. She offered a subtle smile, leaving me unsure whether she believed my compliment or simply didn’t feel it herself.
It was then that I decided to take off my shirt. For the first time in years, I felt confident enough to do so at the pool—partly due to the Dad Bod phenomenon, but also because I had recently shed 25 pounds by tracking my calories. Sure, I was still technically overweight according to the BMI, but as a father of three, I thought maybe I could swim without a shirt.
About an hour later, while playing with Mia, Sarah snapped a photo of me. Upon seeing it, I felt unattractive and quickly deleted it. When she asked why, I replied, “I looked overweight.” She countered, “You looked sexy.”
In that moment, the roles reversed; she was the one encouraging me, much like I had tried to uplift her moments earlier. But what does the Dad Bod really represent? It’s a media construct, born from the internet.
What’s striking is that neither Sarah nor I fully accept each other’s compliments due to our insecurities about our appearances. Society has dictated what is deemed attractive, and these standards are ever-changing. Whether it’s the Dad Bod, Mom Bod, or another trend, I often feel like I fall short, and I suspect Sarah feels similarly.
However, the truth is, I find Sarah extraordinary on so many levels. Her devotion to our family, her strength as a full-time mom and part-time student, and her relentless commitment to excellence are what truly captivate me. If there were a way to visually represent her dedication and love, she would grace the covers of every magazine—because that’s what real beauty is.
After our pool outing, as the kids settled into the van, I embraced Sarah next to the passenger side and told her, “You were the most attractive woman at the pool today.” “To you,” she replied with a smile. “That’s all that matters,” I said, and she kissed me.
This perspective reflects the essence of the Mom Bod—it’s not just about physical appearance, but the whole package of love, dedication, and partnership that makes a mother truly remarkable.
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In summary, embracing the Mom Bod goes beyond how we look; it celebrates the incredible strength, love, and dedication that mothers embody every day.