Dear Kids,
I want to express my deepest regrets for the way things have unfolded. I am truly sorry for the disruption we’ve caused in your lives. While I believe that this decision was ultimately the right one, I know that you would prefer the challenges of living together as a family over being separated. You may not realize it, but in the past, I struggled to find joy in my own life, and I can now be a better mother to you. I’m sorry that at your ages of 7 and 10, you wish for our family to be whole again.
I regret that you have to navigate between two homes. Packing for weekend visits creates stress for me, and it must be even more overwhelming for you. You’re forced to adjust your life multiple times a week, and you do so without complaint. You handle the transitions with grace, but I know it can be exhausting. I created this situation, and for that, I am truly sorry.
I also apologize for the awkwardness that comes with seeing your dad and me date new partners. While I hope it teaches you about healthy relationships, I understand that witnessing affection between parents can be uncomfortable. I realize it may even feel strange for you to see one of us with someone new, and I empathize with that.
Even though your dad and I strive to keep you out of our disagreements, you inevitably find yourselves caught in the middle. When you share stories about your time with your dad, I can sense that you feel a tug of guilt, and that breaks my heart. I want you to enjoy those moments without any reservations.
I’m sorry for the loneliness you might feel at bedtime or when you’re in a new place. It’s hard to explain to your friends that you have two homes and to juggle the complexities of our new lives. You shouldn’t have to act as a messenger between us, relaying information back and forth. You deserve to have both of your parents readily available, and I regret that this isn’t always the case. I wish I could give you more time together, like the dinner you long for with your dad and sister, instead of making you wait an entire year.
As a parent, I can relate to the feelings of exclusion, loneliness, and insecurity that come with childhood experiences. However, I cannot truly understand what it means to be a child of divorce. I do my best to empathize and be by your side, but I am aware that my understanding is limited. The pain I have caused you is immense, and I am genuinely sorry for that.
I hope that, despite these challenges, you will emerge stronger and more compassionate. Life is full of lessons, and while they may not be easy to spot right now, they will shape who you become. You’re learning to see your parents as individuals, which will give you a broader perspective on life.
My love for you surpasses my guilt. I am deeply sorry for the difficulties that our divorce has brought into your lives, but I stand firm in my belief that this is the best path forward for our family.
With all my love,
Mom
For more insights on navigating parenting challenges, check out our other blog post about toddlers and their constant “no”. If you’re looking for information on home insemination, this artificial insemination kit is a great resource. For those expecting, March of Dimes offers excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, while I apologize for the upheaval our divorce has caused, I am hopeful that we will all learn and grow from this experience. I am committed to supporting you through it.