Let’s face it: I’ve never been one to embrace exercise. Sure, there were a couple of phases in my life where I tried to be a gym enthusiast—once in college and another time leading up to my wedding—but for over a decade, my activity level mostly consisted of walking from my car to wherever I needed to be.
It was my friend Lisa who got me thinking about fitness again. After seeing a stunning photo of her—mother of three and looking fabulous—I was curious. She raved about Barre classes, claiming they transformed her body. Then, there was my friend Sarah, who had developed impressive arm muscles I never knew she could achieve. “Try Barre,” she encouraged. And then there was my persistent friend Ella, who wouldn’t stop asking me to join her at a local barre studio. Finally, I gave in, just to get her off my back.
I wouldn’t say I was instantly obsessed with the class—a blend of weightlifting, yoga, and ballet—but I managed to tolerate it. I returned for a second class, then a third. Now, five months later, I can hardly believe I’m saying this, but I actually feel a pang of longing when I skip a few days. It’s a strange feeling.
Despite not having attended a group exercise class in years, I was surprised to find that I recognized a few familiar faces in my first class. Not personally, thank goodness, but they were archetypes I had seen in every other class I had ever taken. It felt oddly comforting, reminiscent of a Weight Watchers meeting. If you’ve ever participated in group exercise, you’ll likely relate to the following characters:
- The Beauty Queen: This person strolls in with flawless makeup, sporting vibrant lipstick and perfectly applied mascara. She works out vigorously but doesn’t seem to break a sweat and leaves looking just as pristine as when she arrived. Her jewelry collection likely outshines yours, even in the gym, and she somehow smells amazing on her way out.
- The Overachiever: You know the one—doubling weights, stacking steps, or taking two classes back-to-back. We get it; you’re in shape. Can you tone down the enthusiasm just a little?
- Miss Lack of Personal Space: This individual insists on setting up her mat right next to yours, despite the plenty of space available elsewhere. It’s hard not to notice her rear end, which you’d rather avoid staring at. She’s also the type to choose the stall right next to you in an otherwise empty restroom.
- The Frump: Not one to flaunt the latest pricey activewear, she shows up in an old, worn-out t-shirt. Clinging to baby weight like it’s a security blanket, she’d much rather be indulging in Nutella than sweating it out in the back row of class.
- The GILF (Grandma I’d Like to Befriend): Okay, maybe the term isn’t entirely accurate, but it’s hard not to admire her physique. She looks incredible, making it somewhat disheartening since she’s twice your age.
- The Groaner: This person vocalizes what everyone else is silently enduring. “Ouch!” “Ugh!” “Why?!” It’s annoying yet somewhat satisfying to hear her expressions of struggle. She’s probably the one encouraging everyone to clap when the class ends—likely a former cheerleader and definitely loud in every aspect of her life.
- The Uncoordinated One: Poor thing just can’t seem to get the moves right. She goes left when everyone else goes right, steps forward when the group is stepping back, and somehow finds herself directly in front of the mirror despite her best efforts.
- The Token Man: It’s always a shock to encounter a guy in a barre or step aerobics class, especially if the environment is predominantly female. Seeing a man in spandex can be a bit jarring, to say the least.
- Little Miss Important: She breezes in late, checks her email throughout the session, and monopolizes the instructor’s attention with endless questions about her form.
- The Body: You look at her and think, “I want those arms. I want those thighs. I want that toned back.” You’d even consider trading your cellulite for her physique.
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In summary, group exercise classes are a microcosm of society, filled with various personalities that can either inspire or annoy you. Whether you’re a seasoned pro or just starting out, you’ll likely encounter these familiar faces in your fitness journey.