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Relaxed Dad
The show is underway! But wait—what’s this? The stage is completely obstructed by smartphones and tablets! Come on, folks! Just take a moment to soak in the performance instead of blocking the view with your devices! Oh, there’s my child! Just a quick photo—oh, and a little video—sorry, just a sec—OK, done! (Looks at phone.) Oh no, that wasn’t even my kid! -
“MY KID’S A STAR” Mom
They’re handing over the microphone to my kid! Big mistake! They have no idea what they’re in for! My child talks nonstop—seriously, even in her sleep! She’s a total performer! Her middle name should be “Look at Me!” But wait, she’s up there now—clutching the mic, staring wide-eyed at the audience, and…silence. Seriously? -
Hopeful Mom
This is going to be so cute! I adore kids and musicals! Huh. Well, that’s um…interesting. They’re certainly trying hard. And we’re trying hard to enjoy this too. Here we are in hour two. Shifting in our seats. Now nearing the third hour. Can someone please end this? -
Critical Mom
Oh please, is that really singing? I can’t believe he landed the lead role! And that dancing—yikes! That kid can’t even remember his lines! Just wait until my little superstar takes the stage! Here he is! Byron, why aren’t you standing up? Say your line! Oh no, Byron, not the lights! Why are you rolling on the floor? No, don’t chew on your costume! -
Business Mom
Forget waterboarding, I’ve created a torture method called “Three Hours of Preschool Musicals on a Metal Chair.” The FBI will never be able to resist! Their ears will bleed, and they’ll beg for mercy! -
Memory Maker Mom
Yes, I’d love a program for the play! My child’s name is in it! I’ll cherish this forever. I hold it close throughout the performance. Once it’s over, I’ll tuck it gently in the car to keep it safe for his memory box. But wait—months later, I discover it buried under snack crumbs and gym socks. Note to self: next time, take better care! -
Lactose-Intolerant Dad
Why did I eat that ice cream before the show? My stomach is in turmoil! I can’t let out a sound without everyone hearing! Please, someone sing loudly or bang a drum! I need cover! -
Endurance Mom
I’m so proud my child got a role in “Annie.” She’s Nondescript Background Orphan #9. But five performances? If I hear “The Sun’ll Come Up Tomorrow” one more time, I might lose it! And why does Daddy Warbucks choose Annie every time? Can’t we mix things up a little? -
Proud Papa
Costume: $38
Ballet Classes: $65
Watching my 5-year-old twirl the wrong way and cause chaos on stage—PRICELESS. -
Impressed Mom
Look at all this talent! That kid could be a star for sure! Wow—this one is Broadway material! Oh, wait—oh no, that’s my child.
In summary, school performances bring out a variety of parents, each with their unique characteristics, from the critical to the supportive. These events can be a rollercoaster of emotions, but they also create lasting memories for families.
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