Before I became a parent, I had this dreamy vision of decorating Easter eggs with my future little ones—dressed in pristine white outfits, gently dipping farm-fresh eggs into lovely natural dyes (I even fantasized about having our own backyard chickens, can you believe it?). Now that I’m a mom, I totally get why my own mother always opted for plastic eggs. Honestly, whoever invented the egg-dyeing tradition must not have had children.
If you’re planning on dyeing eggs this Easter, take it from someone who’s learned the hard way: do it outdoors—preferably far away from civilization—and make sure everyone is in their bathing suits. Stock up on paper towels and maybe some stress relief aids, too. Most of your eggs will likely end up cracked, none will resemble those perfect Pinterest creations, and instead of vibrant pastels, you’ll end up with a collection of murky, greyish blobs.
Why? Because kids have a completely different perspective on egg decorating. Here’s a peek into their thoughts during the process:
- First off, eggs make for awesome projectiles.
- If this dye looks good on eggs, imagine how stunning it’ll be on my hair, my clothes, and all over the walls! I can’t wait to decorate this house with my colorful handprints!
- Eww, Mom! These eggs stink like farts! Coughing and gagging ensue.
- Wait a minute, the last light blue egg I saw had chocolate inside! I need to crack this open and see if there’s any chocolate lurking in here! MOMMY! WHERE’S THE CHOCOLATE? WAAAAHHHH!
- Can I smash this on my brother’s head? Like, hard?
- So red and yellow make orange, but what do red, yellow, green, blue, pink, and purple make? My eggs look like Halloween decorations! The world is ending! They’re ugly!
- I despise hardboiled eggs! Mom, the Easter Bunny better not fill my basket with these! I’ve been good! (Cue the tears.)
- Wow, these colors look delicious! Bet the red one tastes like cherry. Takes a taste. ACCCKKK! IT TASTES LIKE VINEGAR! GET IT OUT OF MY MOUTH!
- Eighteen eggs plus six cups of dye equals… three minutes of fun! Can I have the iPad now? I want to watch unboxing videos for the next few hours. Way more exciting than eggs!
- Jumping in muddy puddles is fun, but how much more awesome would it be to splash in rainbow puddles right here inside the house? I’m dumping all this colorful liquid on the kitchen floor and stomping in it. BEST. DAY. EVER!
Happy Easter to all!
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In summary, dyeing Easter eggs is a chaotic experience full of unexpected thoughts and colorful messes. Children’s perspectives can turn a simple activity into a whirlwind of creativity and fun, reminding us to embrace the chaos.