A while back, I had an eye-opening conversation with a friend about our daily routines. At that time, I was a stay-at-home mom while he held a prestigious role at a high-profile advertising agency, something like “Chief Director of Creative Brand Partnerships.” Curious, I asked him to explain his job description.
“I manage creative brand partnerships,” he replied.
“What does that actually mean?” I probed.
“I oversee creative brand partnerships,” he said, sounding slightly annoyed.
I persisted, “What do you do from the moment you step into your office with your coffee until you clock out at 6 p.m.?”
“I send emails,” he answered. “What about you?”
“I wipe things down,” I replied.
Motherhood comes with various labels: housewife, domestic engineer, full-time mom. However, when we strip away the titles and focus on the core duties, it boils down to a lot of cleaning.
To be fair, it’s not just wiping. I spend time scraping, scrubbing, folding, and sweeping. The title hardly matters because if we examine my daily tasks closely, it’s fair to say I primarily function as a cleaning lady.
This presents a challenge, as cleaning is not my favorite pastime. I dread chores that seem to need repeating almost immediately, like washing dishes, doing laundry, or tidying up the living room. I often find myself thinking, “Didn’t I just do this yesterday?” while in the shower.
When you become a parent, there are many surprises: the pain of childbirth, the costs of childcare, and the unsolicited advice to bundle up your baby even on warm days. Yet, what truly took me aback—something no one ever warned me about—was the sheer volume of cleaning that skyrockets after having kids. (If I had to quantify it, I’d say it increases tenfold, but I’m unsure what the term for that is—dectuples?)
Before parenting, my husband and I viewed chores as a minor inconvenience. We’d wash a few dishes every evening, vacuum occasionally, and scrub the tub whenever it started looking grimy. But post-baby, a simple meal can feel like a disaster zone. After breakfast, our kitchen resembles a battlefield littered with toast crusts and jam splattered on the ceiling fan. Each meal involves using about thirty plates, four cutting boards, and twenty knives. Grit seems to magically reappear underfoot, no matter how often I sweep or vacuum.
The dirty dishes seem to multiply like rabbits. In my early days as a stay-at-home mom, I remarked to my husband, “You know who Sisyphus’s wife was? Dishyphus. While he was out making a name for himself rolling that rock, Dishyphus was at home scraping egg residue off frying pans.” I ended up in tears, and my wise husband suggested we reconsider how we divide household chores.
Even with both of us pitching in, the tasks are unending. Together, we spend most of every day trying to restore order from the chaos the kids create. One child loves to cut tiny bits of paper that are too small to pick up by hand but too large for a vacuum. Another has turned his door into an art canvas with markers. Shoes, coats, and bags trail from the front door down the hallway, and I’ve resigned myself to kicking them aside rather than asking the kids to put them away.
When you give birth in a hospital, they should send new mothers home with microfiber cloths, rags, and paper towels. Alongside breastfeeding classes, a housekeeping tutorial would be beneficial. “Get used to it,” they could say. “Breastfeeding and diaper-changing are temporary, but the cleaning? That’s a lifetime commitment.”
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Summary:
Motherhood often comes with unexpected challenges, particularly the overwhelming amount of cleaning required. From dishes to laundry to general tidying, the daily responsibilities of a mother can feel like an endless cycle of chores. Despite the many titles associated with motherhood, the core reality is often that of a cleaning lady, with the workload multiplying significantly once children enter the picture.