I think it’s time we had a little chat about our family dynamics. You see, we might be a bit unconventional, and sometimes we tend to overshare with people who aren’t family. While we might be more typical than I realize, I’ve noticed that many families have boundaries when it comes to certain topics and language.
Just the other day, when we entered a restaurant and one of you excitedly exclaimed, “It’s my turn to hold the pager!” I knew a discussion was necessary. I mean, I hope you don’t actually know what a vibrator is yet, but you just loved the feel of the pager. That said, maybe we should rethink putting those devices under our clothes. Who knows where they’ve been?
So, perhaps we could practice lowering our voices in public. It would really help if we could avoid shouting and instead keep our thoughts to ourselves unless we truly understand the topic. This would definitely help save me from wanting to hide in a corner out of embarrassment.
I get that you get really excited when I buy you a new toothbrush, especially since I have to keep reminding you to brush those tiny teeth. But if I need to step away for a moment, it’s probably not the best time to whip out your new toothbrush and start brushing at the water fountain after I’ve asked you to wait. Remember, listening is always the right choice.
And yes, I did chuckle the other day when you mentioned you had to take a “Trump dump” before heading off to the bathroom. But when I asked you not to say it again, I meant it—even if I was struggling to hold back laughter. You thought it was hilarious and felt encouraged to repeat it during dinner with guests. Let’s keep some things private, as I’d like to invite those friends over again soon.
When you walked in on me last year during a rather personal moment, I explained what was happening, but let’s not revisit that story. It turned out okay, but those were tears of confusion you witnessed. It’s best if we just don’t open the bathroom door when someone is inside.
A few months later, when Dad was feeling under the weather and you made a comparison between him and our puppy after his surgery, I thought you understood. But hearing you tell others that “Dad got his balls chopped off” was a bit much. If it involves private parts, please check with Mom or Dad first before sharing with the world—especially in aisle 6 of the grocery store.
Now, hissing when you’re upset has become a unique way to express frustration, and I find it quite amusing. It’s much better than yelling or physical confrontations. However, remember that it’s not appropriate to do that to adults, especially your teachers.
Unfortunately, you’re growing up, and it’s time to move beyond using age as an excuse for sharing inappropriate information. Let’s aim for a fresh start where we can be ourselves but keep our family quirks within our four walls. This way, we might even get invited to more gatherings, which is definitely more fun than embarrassing me during outings. Plus, I’d save some money because I wouldn’t need as much wine to cope!
So, let’s keep our family’s silliness contained, and I promise it’ll be a win-win for all of us.
Love,
Mom
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Summary:
In this letter, a mother discusses the importance of maintaining boundaries about family matters and how to handle situations that involve personal topics. She encourages her children to keep certain things private, especially in public settings, while still embracing their family’s unique quirks.