In today’s digital age, the internet can feel like an unpredictable frontier. As parents, it’s crucial to equip our teens with more than just generic advice about their online presence. They require clear guidelines rooted in our family values.
Recently, I crafted a social media agreement for my 13-year-old son, Jake. On his birthday, we allowed him to create an Instagram account, but shortly after, he shared a photo that raised our concerns. After receiving feedback from family members, I realized the need for a structured approach to navigate these online waters. This contract serves not only to clarify expectations but also to minimize conflicts about the rules. An agreement signed by both parents and the child is hard to dispute!
Here’s the contract we have established:
- I will maintain a “private” account setting at all times.
- I agree not to post pictures that focus on body parts. I will share images of myself or friends only if they show our faces. This is not about shame; it’s about recognizing the importance of not sexualizing myself to strangers online.
- I will refrain from sharing any sexualized images, including any form of kissing, inappropriate gestures, or body contact. While having fun is fine, the internet isn’t a safe place for such silliness.
- I commit to showing respect to myself and others through my words and images. I will not use social media to mock, embarrass, gossip, or disclose private matters.
- For safety, I will not disclose my exact location while I’m there. For example, I won’t post about being at the park with friends followed by my plans to go home.
- I will promptly inform an adult family member if I receive any threatening or inappropriate messages or images on any platform.
- I will not seek out pornography. I understand that while sex is a natural part of adult life, pornography is not an appropriate resource for me as a young person. I know that once I start viewing such content, I cannot unsee it, which can negatively impact my emotional and spiritual well-being. If I accidentally come across it, I will stop immediately and understand the complexities surrounding it. Curiosity is normal, but I agree to avoid this material until I am an adult.
- I acknowledge that anything I post online is permanent, even if deleted. Individuals skilled in technology can retrieve deleted content, and private messages can be shared elsewhere. In the future, potential employers or partners could find everything I’ve shared online.
- During family time, I will put away all devices, including my phone, and expect that the adults will do the same.
- I agree to participate in occasional “Internet blackouts.” If I show signs of needing a tech break, such as irritability or withdrawal from family activities, my parents may ask me to take a break from my devices for a couple of days.
- I will disconnect from all technology, including my phone, by 8:00 PM unless I have received special permission.
- If I fail to adhere to these agreements, I understand that my social media access may be revoked for a time deemed necessary by my parents. I know that my family loves me deeply and sets these boundaries out of concern for my well-being.
This agreement serves as a foundation for responsible online behavior and encourages open dialogue. For more guidance on topics like home insemination and parenting, you can check out more resources on our blog.
In summary, creating a social media agreement can provide clarity and structure for your teen’s online experience, ensuring they navigate this complex landscape safely and respectfully.