As my children grow, they look up to two distinct figures in the workforce—one who exemplifies a strong work ethic and another who approaches work more leisurely. My partner, Jake, has an unwavering dedication to his job and often finds himself juggling multiple significant projects. His productivity is remarkable; he seamlessly transitions between tasks, which allows him to accomplish a lot week after week. In contrast, I take a more measured approach to work. After the birth of our first child, I chose to step back from my career, which has led me to prioritize flexibility over relentless ambition.
According to research conducted by Dr. Laura Simmons, a professor at Stanford University, and Mark Turner, a senior HR analyst, parents play a crucial role in shaping their children’s perspectives on work. They identified three primary “work orientations”:
- A “job” orientation, focused solely on earning a paycheck,
- A “career” orientation, where individuals find satisfaction through professional advancement, and
- A “calling” orientation, characterized by a passion for the work itself, such as in the lives of artists or social activists.
While one’s work orientation can shift over time and may even blend aspects of the others, the influences from parents are significant. Dr. Simmons notes that children who hear their parents express dissatisfaction with their jobs may adopt a similar view, seeing work merely as a burdensome obligation.
It’s natural for me to hope that my children will surpass my own achievements, including their approach to work. Yet, I sometimes fear they’ll regard their father’s ambitious career as the ultimate measure of success, overlooking the vital but often invisible contributions I make as a primary caregiver. Tasks like meal prepping for the week or assisting elderly family members often go uncelebrated, while professional milestones are acknowledged and rewarded.
Interestingly, the researchers indicate that it’s possible to embrace multiple career orientations. They shared the story of a young woman who emulated her father’s driven approach while also dedicating time to volunteer work, reflecting her mother’s community-focused values.
As a parent, my goal is to encourage my children to pursue careers that provide both fulfillment and a means to support themselves. From my experience in the arts, I understand that finding such balance can be challenging. However, I admire many creative individuals who successfully navigate a mix of paid work, career opportunities, and passion projects.
Ultimately, I want to instill in my children the understanding that they have control over their professional lives and the ability to adapt their priorities as needed. The evolving job market will favor those who possess a diverse skill set and the capacity to be flexible. There will be times when they must focus on earning a living, while at other moments, they can dedicate themselves to their passions. And when circumstances demand it, they should feel empowered to take a step back for family. After all, work is just one facet of life.
For working parents, balancing responsibilities is essential, and you can find helpful advice in our article on pumping at work. Additionally, if you’re considering home insemination, resources like the one from Make A Mom are invaluable for your journey, as well as Resolve when exploring family-building options.
Summary:
Parents significantly influence their children’s work ethic through their own attitudes and approaches to work. Research highlights the importance of modeling positive work orientations—whether it’s viewing work as a job, career, or calling. By fostering an understanding of flexibility and control over their professional paths, parents can help children navigate the complexities of work-life balance in the future.