Please Don’t Pity Me Because of My Condition

man and woman with dark skin holding her pregnant bellyGet Pregnant Fast

Living with a chronic illness can be overwhelming. I’ve got a disease that has no cure, and managing it involves a constant cycle of checking my blood sugar, dosing insulin, and meticulously counting carbohydrates. Honestly, the effort it takes can leave me feeling drained.

When I’m not monitoring my blood sugar levels, I’m often on the phone with my insurance company, disputing exorbitant medical bills. If I’m not administering insulin to lower a high blood sugar reading, I’m reflecting on how my morning workout might affect my health later in the day. And when I’m not calculating the carbs in a slice of pizza, I’m dealing with curious onlookers asking if I should really be eating that.

The stakes are high: uncontrolled blood sugar can lead to severe complications like blindness, amputations, kidney failure, heart issues, and even depression. Each day is a balancing act, as every decision I make—be it about sleep, diet, exercise, or insulin—carries significant consequences.

You’d never guess I have Type 1 diabetes when you see me. I look like any other mom, with my hair in a messy bun, yoga pants, and a cup of coffee in hand. I juggle my kids’ activities, handle household chores, and manage my work as a writer. My evenings often culminate in a chaotic bedtime routine, after which my husband and I might finally collapse on the couch. From the outside, I seem perfectly normal.

However, when others discover my condition—either from my insulin pump or the act of checking my blood sugar—I’m often met with a barrage of well-meaning but frustrating comments. I hear about family members who faced dire consequences from their diseases or get asked if I could simply take pills instead. Some express disbelief at the thought of injecting themselves with insulin, while others question my dietary choices, assuming I can’t indulge in treats.

Managing diabetes is a relentless responsibility, akin to trying to prevent a toddler from throwing a tantrum over a toy. My pancreas no longer produces insulin, so I must take on that role, which means I am constantly vigilant.

The stress that comes with a chronic illness is unparalleled. It leads to ongoing worry, confusion, and frustration. Yet, it also instills resilience, bravery, and a keen sense of prioritization. Finding balance is crucial when your very life is at stake.

There are a few things I really don’t need. I don’t want sugar-free drink mixes that claim to be miraculous (spoiler: they don’t cure me). I really don’t need to hear about your uncle’s unfortunate experience or how incredible your sister’s acupuncturist is. And please, don’t lean in and whisper, “Are you okay?” Such sentiments only serve as reminders of my struggles and make me feel inadequate.

Instead, let me share what would genuinely help. When I was first diagnosed, a friend visited me in the hospital. Instead of asking how I was feeling—an obvious concern—she sat at my bedside and simply rubbed my feet. The gesture said it all: I’m here for you, I’m listening, and I want to support you without expecting anything in return.

If you know someone battling a chronic illness, consider small acts of kindness. Surprise them with a cup of coffee on a gloomy day or send an encouraging text acknowledging their strength. Ask them what you can do to brighten their day and follow through.

So please, don’t waste your sympathy on me. Stand alongside me in this fight and, if you want to help, send coffee.

If you’re interested in more pregnancy-related topics, check out our post on sensitive skin during pregnancy, which can be an important issue for many expecting mothers. Also, for those looking into home insemination resources, consider visiting BabyMaker, an authority on this subject. Alternatively, Resolve offers excellent information about pregnancy and home insemination.

Summary

Living with a chronic illness like Type 1 diabetes is challenging and requires constant vigilance. While managing this condition can be exhausting, it also fosters resilience and bravery. Rather than pity, those with chronic illnesses appreciate support through small acts of kindness. Encouragement and understanding go a long way in this journey.