Navigating the complexities of raising a teenage daughter can be a rollercoaster ride of emotions. After enduring the often tumultuous tween years with my daughter Lily, I find myself hoping for a bit more calmness and reason in our conversations. A mom can dream, right? While parenting a teen is certainly less dramatic than the tween stage—thanks to my hardened heart and steely nerves—it still presents its own unique set of challenges. I’m learning to give her space as she matures, celebrating her achievements and guiding her through her missteps. She’s discovering that mistakes are part of life and that it’s okay to ask for help when things get tough.
Reflecting on my own teenage years in the ’80s, I can’t help but notice how different things are now. Still, there are several ’80s songs that perfectly encapsulate my experiences with Lily:
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Duran Duran, ‘Girls on Film’
In today’s world, it’s more like Snapchat, the modern-day equivalent of film (if only she knew what film actually was). My nearly 14-year-old snaps countless selfies, sending them out into the digital ether. Some are intentionally ugly, while others are genuinely stunning (#nofilter). I remind her that everything online leaves a mark, but she just rolls her eyes and keeps snapping away. -
The Clash, ‘Should I Stay or Should I Go’
I often find myself guessing when Lily wants my assistance with homework or social dilemmas, and when she prefers I back off. My instinct is to hover, but I realize that part of her growth involves figuring things out independently. Lately, I’ve been paying closer attention to when she needs me and when she’s got things under control. -
Madonna, ‘Like a Virgin’
We discuss relationships and intimacy much more than I ever did with my mom in my teen years. While a part of me wants to shout “Abstinence!” the part that remembers my own teenage urges takes a more pragmatic approach. We talk about navigating these experiences, focusing on communication, protection, and respect. It’s a bit uncomfortable, but who said parenting teens would be easy? -
Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock, ‘Joy and Pain’
Even though Lily has improved in managing her feelings, she still has her moments of intense joy and frustration. While her emotional outbursts are less frequent, they are still powerful. Scoring well on a math test? Time to do cartwheels on the lawn while belting out the “Eye of the Tiger”—obviously. -
AC/DC, ‘Back in Black’
Once, I had a sweet little girl enamored with princesses and pink. Now, I have a cool teenager who favors black—be it leggings, distressed jeans, or flowy T-shirts. Occasionally, she’ll mix in a gray tank or burgundy hoodie. Is this a phase or a lasting style? Either way, she pulls off the look effortlessly. -
Pet Shop Boys, ‘What Have I Done to Deserve This?’
When Lily shoots me daggers for insignificant reasons, like forgetting a napkin or gently reminding her of an upcoming ride, I often wonder what I’ve done wrong. Then it hits me—I’m parenting a teenager, and the answer is “nothing.” It doesn’t excuse her behavior, but it does help me remember that their brains are undergoing significant changes. -
Salt-N-Pepa, ‘Push It’
If you think setting rules for toddlers is tough, just wait until they become teenagers. For instance, when Lily asks for a late-night pick-up after making plans with friends, it tests the limits of our established rules. I admire her initiative, but she’s also challenging our boundaries. It’s our job to set clear expectations while she learns to negotiate them. -
Simple Minds, ‘Don’t You (Forget About Me)’
In her eagerness for independence, Lily sometimes overwhelms herself—whether it’s emotionally or academically. She often forgets that I’m just down the hall, ready to support her. I gently remind her that I was once a teenage girl too and that I’m always here to listen, advise, or simply hug. -
Guns N’ Roses, ‘Sweet Child O’ Mine’
The most beautiful aspect of having a teenage daughter is never losing sight of the sweet child she once was. That essence is still there, and parenting her through this transitional phase can be challenging yet rewarding. As she navigates her journey into young adulthood, I see her heart of gold shining through.
Parenting a teen keeps me on my toes, but as long as we maintain open lines of communication—whether through selfies, heart-to-heart discussions, fashion advice, or the occasional hug—I’m confident we’ll weather this storm just fine. Perhaps I should even consider creating her a mixtape.
For more insights on navigating the transitions of parenthood, check out this post about the postpartum experience. If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, make sure to visit this resource on couples’ fertility journeys. You can also find essential information on pregnancy and insemination here.
Summary
Parenting a teenage daughter can be an emotional rollercoaster, reminiscent of ’80s songs that reflect various aspects of the experience. From navigating personal boundaries to discussing relationships, the journey is full of challenges and joys that keep both mother and daughter engaged and connected.