- Show No Interest in Their World: Skip asking about their friends, the latest gossip, or their daily experiences. Conversations that require more than a simple nod or grunt? Totally unnecessary.
- Avoid Setting Any Limits: Forget about even the smallest of rules, like curfews or when it’s acceptable to get a new piercing. Who needs guidelines that might stifle their “unique” self-expression anyway?
- Deny Them Unplugged Time: Make sure they never have to entertain themselves without screens. Encourage them to be creative or, heaven forbid, read a book! Who wants to deal with a few minutes of withdrawal from their beloved devices?
- Give Them Responsibilities: Forbid them from doing chores like carrying their own laundry or loading the dishwasher. Why would you want to teach them life skills or personal accountability?
- Skip Family Time: Family game nights? A total drag! Avoid any activities that require everyone to be together and actually talk to one another.
- Steer Clear of Tough Topics: Don’t discuss important issues like relationships, substance use, or values. There’s no need to address the awkward questions that might arise—just ignore them.
- Don’t Show Up: If you must attend their events, feel free to hide in your car. Just your presence can be a lifelong source of embarrassment for them.
- Avoid Helping Them With Anything: If you think you can contribute anything meaningful based on your own experiences, think again. You must have been born with all the answers, so why bother sharing advice?
For more insights, check out our other blog post here.
In the world of parenting, these strategies will surely lead you down the path of becoming the most unhelpful parent imaginable.
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