As large families become increasingly common, outings with many kids often attract unsolicited comments. Trust me, I’m getting pretty close to losing my cool and possibly expressing my frustration with a cantaloupe at the grocery store. To keep myself out of trouble, here are some questions to steer clear of:
- We’re not a sideshow. If we were, I’d be charging admission. Staring, pointing, and loudly counting our family members? Wow, you can count to seven. Yes, we have five children at home, and your observation skills are impressive—no shoes required!
- “Are you trying to outdo the Duggars?” Oh, how original! I’ve never heard that before. In reality, I’m not focusing on cloning; I’m just raising my own little army.
- “You really should learn to say no!” Excuse me? Have you seen my partner? Why would I want to say no to him? Also, why assume it’s me chasing him down? Maybe I’m just waiting for some quiet time to make my move—certainly not from an excess of his affection!
- “Don’t you understand what causes that?” Yes, we’re quite educated on that topic and have mastered it!
- “Were all your kids planned?” Did you plan to be so incredibly rude? This question is baffling. My family planning is nobody’s business but mine and my partner’s. If I say no, I’m careless, and if I say yes, I’m deemed insane.
- “Are you very religious?” Apparently, having a large family means I must be a religious fanatic. Spoiler alert: some of us just love being parents, regardless of our beliefs.
- “Why didn’t you stop at one or two?” They’re not stray animals! One time, my partner joked, “Well, we did eat a few…”
- “How do you manage to afford them?” Easy! They take turns eating, and we’ve saved a bundle by giving them dog crates instead of fancy beds.
- “I could never handle that many kids!” Great, then don’t!
- “You’re done now, right?” Unless you’re planning to fund their college education, that’s none of your business.
What really grinds my gears is when someone says, “You poor woman!” Sure, life can be chaotic and loud, but I love my family. I wouldn’t change a thing. Large families may not be for everyone, but they certainly have their own joys.
If you’re interested, this blog post discusses how some families have opted for home insemination after two IUI attempts. Also, for those considering the journey, exploring resources like American Pregnancy can be invaluable, and Cryobaby offers excellent products for at-home insemination.
Summary
Navigating conversations about large families can be tricky, especially with common but intrusive questions. Understanding the nuances of family planning, personal choices, and the joy of parenting can foster more respectful dialogue.